JOTD

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A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful

much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said,

“No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.

"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said.

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,

"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good,

so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "Sir...There's no money in that account."

"I know,’” said the old man…"But let me tell you about my weekend."

Not All Seniors Are Senile...
 
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It’s so brave that everyone is now coming forward to criticise Harvey Weinstein. It’s great that the scandal has got out. Otherwise people might think the problem was only with uncles, parents, priests and rabbis.

They say that Weinstein’s behaviour has long been gossiped. But not in the entertainment industry gossip magazines. Evidently those in the gossip magazine and film industries are better disciplined than we give them credit for.

There’s a Harvey Weinstein sex tape online. No one wants to watch it.

The Weinstein Company are going to change their name to The Company. Bob Weinstein is going to shorten his name to: Bob. Or, maybe he will change his name to Albert W. Brooks. (The less people understand that, the more effective the name change would be.)

The elephant in the room is that Harvey Weinstein is Jewish, although apparently he wasn’t hung that well.

The main complaint of the actresses was that he wanted the attention.

Harvey Weinstein is worried that he will now be typecast as a Harvey Weinstein.

- Ben Marks​
 
A young white missionary spends his days teaching the way of the Lord to an African tribe. After several years, a village woman gives birth to a white baby. The Chief is not happy with this. When he confronts the priest, the priest tries to explain these things happen in nature. With the chief not understanding, the priest tries to explain further....

"ok chief. See that flock of sheep?"

"Mmm yes".

"See they are all white, but that one black one?"

"Mmm yes".

"Does that help you to understand?"

"Mmm yes. I no say nothing about baby, you no say nothing about sheep."
 
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