I am colluding with Trump!
JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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don’t just sit there in your house, go outside and enjoy nature!!
JOHNLGALT
Well-Known Member
Lovely Misunderstanding !!!
A wife was reading a travel and tourism magazine.
Wife : Shall we try Greece for our 10th anniversary ?
Husband : OK but what's wrong with Vaseline...???
A wife was reading a travel and tourism magazine.
Wife : Shall we try Greece for our 10th anniversary ?
Husband : OK but what's wrong with Vaseline...???
Arch Stanton
Well-Known Member
A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive thirty-year-old single-malt Scotch,
and downs them one after the other.
The bartender says,"You look like you're in a hurry".
"You would be too if you had what I have," says the guy.
"What have you got?" asks the bartender.
"Fifty cents
and downs them one after the other.
The bartender says,"You look like you're in a hurry".
"You would be too if you had what I have," says the guy.
"What have you got?" asks the bartender.
"Fifty cents
Yep, same crazy mindsets!
Was recently holidaying in Thailand when 2 girls approached me and asked if I wanted to sleep with them, they said it'd be like winning the lottery..
To my horror they were right, we had 6 matching balls.
To my horror they were right, we had 6 matching balls.
Laundry Man, forgot to remove self when hang up to dry
_Midnight Musings:_
I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse.
I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'.
In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.
He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again,
he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words.
I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse.
I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'.
In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.
He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again,
he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words.
Civilisation in 2017
Here a good one for you! They say less is more, but maybe not always.
� OUR PHONES - Wireless
� COOKING - Fireless
� CARS - Keyless
� FOOD - Fatless
� TIRES -Tubeless
� DRESS - Sleeveless
� YOUTH - Jobless
� LEADERS - Shameless
� RELATIONSHIPS - Meaningless
� ATTITUDES - Careless
� BABIES - Fatherless
� FEELINGS - Heartless
� EDUCATION - Valueless
� CHILDREN – Mannerless
� BILLS - Paperless
WE ARE-SPEECHLESS,
GOVERNMENT - is CLUELESS,
AND OUR POLITICIANS - are WORTHLESS!
Here a good one for you! They say less is more, but maybe not always.
� OUR PHONES - Wireless
� COOKING - Fireless
� CARS - Keyless
� FOOD - Fatless
� TIRES -Tubeless
� DRESS - Sleeveless
� YOUTH - Jobless
� LEADERS - Shameless
� RELATIONSHIPS - Meaningless
� ATTITUDES - Careless
� BABIES - Fatherless
� FEELINGS - Heartless
� EDUCATION - Valueless
� CHILDREN – Mannerless
� BILLS - Paperless
WE ARE-SPEECHLESS,
GOVERNMENT - is CLUELESS,
AND OUR POLITICIANS - are WORTHLESS!
"When I came to America, homosexuality was a crime. Later it became acceptable. Now it's legal. I better leave America before it becomes compulsory
that beating of gold
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