JOTD

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A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and


is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!


Irish cop says, "License and registration, please."


London Lawyer says, "What for?"


Irish cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."


London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."


Irish cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"


London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"


Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"


London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket.


If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."


Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."


The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.


The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop or just slow down? "
 
A waiter spies Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in a dark corner of a restaurant together at a table.
As he takes their order he asks what they're doing there ...together.
"We're planning the start of WW3" Says Clinton
"Really?!" Replies the waiter, "What's going to happen"?
Trump says "We're gunna kill 140million Muslims and one blonde with big boobs!"
"Whaaat?, Why are you going to kill a blonde with big boobs for!!!?" exclaims the waiter
"See" says Trump to Clinton, "I told you know one would care about the 140million Muslims"
 
How To Speak Womanese
At last....someone in this world has done some very valid and very valuable research on the human condition!

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The California-based husband and wife founders of celebrity-endorsed vegan restaurant group Cafe Gratitude say they have received death threats after it was revealed last week that they are raising, slaughtering and eating animals on their farm north of San Francisco.

Matthew and Terces Engelhart, both in their sixties, who opened the first Cafe Gratitude in 2004 and whose celebrity followers have included Gwyneth Paltrow, Beyonc and Sacha Baron Cohen, countered the firestorm of criticism with a defense of the "regenerative agriculture" methods they now use on their Be Love Farm in Vacaville, calling it a personal choice made in the privacy of their home.

"We started to observe nature and what we saw is that nature doesn't exist without animals," Matthew Engelhart told the Hollywood Reporter last week after animal rights activists dug up and circulated blog entries from spring 2015 from the farm's website, including photos of a freezer full of pastured beef, jars of gravy and Matthew enjoying a hamburger, with posts on their "transition" into meat products after nearly 40 years of vegetarianism.

"People have taken up the mob mentality," he opined, after protesters gathered outside their restaurants holding signs such as "no animal is grateful to die", started a Facebook boycott page and frantically posted one-star Yelp reviews.

"Cows make an extreme sacrifice for humanity but that is their position in God's plan as food for the predators," Matthew Engelhart added in a statement about their decision. "We can be part of that sacrament."

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...-meat-eating-owners-cafe-gratitude-california
 
Not if you were a seaman who was paid on the basis that you also payed out rope as the voyage required.

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Results not typical said:

David Bowie's net worth was around $100 million when he died. Justin Bieber's net worth is currently around $200 million. Celebrity musicians and labels like to cry poor. The reality is that it is, and has always been, a hard road and a painfully tough slog for many musicians no matter what the era.
 
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