JOTD

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Another EGG joke:

There's an egg in a fridge who starts talking to another egg next to him:

- Hey bro! What the f#@ is wrong with you?! You look like shit and you're so hairy!

- F. you, I'm a kiwi
 
Two eggs in a saucepan on the stove.

One says ' Oooh it's getting hot. I don't like this'

Other says 'Enjoy it while you can, after this they bash your head in'
 
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From cult classic The Crow:
Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks...
Can you put me up for the night?
 
silvergrey said:
Some jumper leads walk into a bar.
The barman says don't start anything
Click to expand...

2 sewing machines bump into each other in a bar.
The says to the other "are you a singer?"
The other replies "yeah, how did janome?
 
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WARNING!! SCAM ALERT***
Keep an eye out for this girl and her friend. They are hanging around in Sainsbury's Supermarket Longwater Lane, Norwich and when you are putting your groceries into the car they approach you asking for a lift to McDonald's. These girls are very convincing and very hot! Once in your car this one takes her clothes off while getting on top of you to distract you while the other takes your wallet. I've had my wallet stolen now on the 14th, 15th and 16th, twice yesterday and probably two more times tomorrow.

Sainsbury's have wallets for sale for 3.99 but I've found some in The Range for only 1.49 so have bought 4. Also, you never actually make it to McDonalds so I've also lost 11lbs
 
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