JOTD

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cat escape
 
I'm sort of like a nerd but without the cleverness

Subject: Fwd: FOR THE LEXOPHILE


"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
Entries from a recent competition follow:

. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

. The batteries were given out free of charge.

. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

. A will is a dead giveaway.

. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

. A hard boiled egg is difficult to beat.

. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

. Police were called to a day care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye..

. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
 
The Fisher King said:
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb - 100

You need 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to turn the house :lol:

TFK

At least get the joke and 'racial' stereotype correct :rolleyes:

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? 100.

One to hold the light bulb and 99 to drink until the room starts to spin.
 
Not sure if this has been posted previously, however I couldn't help but feel that there is more than a kernel of truth to it.

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Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on all their shoes ?

Toes
Go
In
First :D

How was copper wire invented ? :|







































2 Jews fighting over a penny :P

Have you heard about the Kosher car ?
It stops on a dime






And picks it up :D

What did one skinhead say to the other skinhead ?

Lets put our heads together & make an ass of our self's :lol:
 
The Fisher King said:
The Fisher King said:
How many physiologists does it take to change a light bulb - it does not matter.

Because the light bulb has to want to change :lol:

TFK :)

P.S. sorry,I clicked the wrong button :rolleyes:

You also got physiologist mixed up psychologist! Maybe it's time to ditch the light bulb jokes :P




00:45 :lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gjsoSY18kg[/youtube]
 
That is such a terrible advertisement. I suppose they figure no women actually eat that rubbish.
 
Daily Form Guide

Favourites in the Ukraine Stakes

Born in the USA Bazza

Very popular with the masses but lost at the last three starts.
Said to have too many fatcat jockeys but seems more interested in grazing than racing.
$10 million day trips to Africa are indicative of form.
His trainers say ignore the form because they own the racetrack.

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Cool Sunglasses Action Man

Dark Horse who has yet to lose.
Faced the stewards a few years ago who soon after disappeared.
Current stewards having a bet each way and taking home the winnings.
Will soon be running his own race which is expected to be called the Euro Invitation Stakes

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