JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin.
”Ooh”, said the presenter enthusiastically, “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century.
Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”
“Sticks,” said Paddy.
”Ooh”, said the presenter enthusiastically, “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century.
Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”
“Sticks,” said Paddy.
No Sammy you're spoiling the idiotic meme! Can't you see in the original post, 'Social Justice' is actually a bloodied tool of oppression that brings everybody down!
How dare we fight for justice. Just like being progressive, or liberal, these are things that are out of fashion on this forum.
What the hell is happening to our society, where social justice is portrayed as evil?? I'll tell you what's evil - desperately clinging to privilege while denying it exists. Playing the victim when your stranglehold on everything is challenged. Blaming the disadvantaged for every little inconvenience.
That's what's evil, and it is insidious.
The Theory of Intelligence as explained to Norm Peterson by Cliff Clavin on CHEERS all those years ago.
I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . .
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo; and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . .
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo; and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
From a 10 year old kid on the ABC radio kids joke contest :
What kind of bees give milk?
Boo-bees
What kind of bees give milk?
Boo-bees
So clinging to privilege is evil? Yeah your values are correctly aligned you soft buttercup. This is why any reasonable person laughs at social justice warriors because they live in this completely safe world where nothing bad ever happens to them so their ideas of right and wrong are warped. A harsh word is evil, wanting cultural values you grew up in Australia to stay the same is evil, being a white man is evil.
PS. You were joking?
Backup Sensor
Lots of the newer cars have a backup sensor that warns the driver
before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something
Who invented the backup sensor?
I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, no; then
how about Mercedes Benz? Or possibly the French or Italians.
No! It was a Chinese farmer!
Surprisingly it was not developed by modern automotive engineers
using the latest technology. It was disclosed recently that the first
to develop the backup sensor was a Chinese farmer. His invention
was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch before the vehicle
backs into something.
Here's his first prototype:
Lots of the newer cars have a backup sensor that warns the driver
before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something
Who invented the backup sensor?
I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, no; then
how about Mercedes Benz? Or possibly the French or Italians.
No! It was a Chinese farmer!
Surprisingly it was not developed by modern automotive engineers
using the latest technology. It was disclosed recently that the first
to develop the backup sensor was a Chinese farmer. His invention
was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch before the vehicle
backs into something.
Here's his first prototype:
A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game.
The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double.
Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!"
The next batter hits a single.
The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".
The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.
The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by.
The Umpire calls: "Walk."
The batter starts his slow trot to first base.
The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, run!"
The people around him begin laughing.
Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.
A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, “He can't run -- he has four balls."
The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"
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