JOTD
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A NUN AT HOOTERS
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation -- and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?'
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now -- how about that drink?
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation -- and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?'
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now -- how about that drink?
A Jewish bookie was at the races playing the ponies and losing his shirt.
He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold,
that horse - a long shot - won the race.
Next race,
as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped
onto the track.
Sure enough,
he blessed one of the horses.
The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again,
even though it was another long shot,
the horse won the race.
He collected his winnings,
and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next.
He bet big on it,
and it won.
As the races continued the Priest kept blessing horses,
and each one ended up winning.
The bookie was elated.
He made a quick dash to the ATM,
withdrew all his savings,
and awaited for the Priest's next blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern,
the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was 100/1.
This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.
The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he had on the old nag.
He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up lame and couldn't even finish the race.
In a state of shock,
he went to the track area where the Priest was standing.
Confronting him,
he exclaimed,
"Father ! What happened ?
All day long you blessed horses and they all won.
Then in the last race,
the horse you blessed never even had a chance.
Now,
thanks to you I've lost all my money !"
The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.
"You aren't Catholic are you, my son ?"
"No, I'm Jewish."
"That's the problem," said the Priest.
"You couldn't tell the difference between a blessing and last rites."
He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold,
that horse - a long shot - won the race.
Next race,
as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped
onto the track.
Sure enough,
he blessed one of the horses.
The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again,
even though it was another long shot,
the horse won the race.
He collected his winnings,
and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next.
He bet big on it,
and it won.
As the races continued the Priest kept blessing horses,
and each one ended up winning.
The bookie was elated.
He made a quick dash to the ATM,
withdrew all his savings,
and awaited for the Priest's next blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern,
the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was 100/1.
This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.
The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he had on the old nag.
He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up lame and couldn't even finish the race.
In a state of shock,
he went to the track area where the Priest was standing.
Confronting him,
he exclaimed,
"Father ! What happened ?
All day long you blessed horses and they all won.
Then in the last race,
the horse you blessed never even had a chance.
Now,
thanks to you I've lost all my money !"
The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.
"You aren't Catholic are you, my son ?"
"No, I'm Jewish."
"That's the problem," said the Priest.
"You couldn't tell the difference between a blessing and last rites."
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