JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

  1. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    12,624
    Likes Received:
    1,700
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    When Jean Harlow attended a party given by Dame Magot Asquith, the movie star presumptuously referred to the hostess by her first name, and she mispronounced it as “Margott”, i.e., she pronounced a “t” at the end of the name.

    "So pleased to meetcha Margott."

    Dame Margot responded.

    "No, no, Jean. The ‘t’ is silent, as in Harlow."
     
  2. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    7,091
    Likes Received:
    1,674
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
  3. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    7,091
    Likes Received:
    1,674
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
  4. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    562
    Trophy Points:
    93
    I am not sure what the rules are on JOTD are, so if I have gone to far with this one then please let me know.


    The Vegas Hooker


    > >>> A bloke is walking the strip in Vegas when a fantastic looking hooker catches his eye.
    > >>>
    > >>> He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks, "How much do you charge?"
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker replies, "I start at $500 for a hand job."
    > >>>
    > >>> The bloke says, "$500 for a hand job? Holy crap, no hand job is worth that kind of money."
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker says, "You see that KFC on the corner?"
    > >>>
    > >>> "Yes."
    > >>>
    > >>> "Do you see the McDonald's in the next block?"
    > >>>
    > >>> "Yes."
    > >>>
    > >>> "And do you see the Wendy's across the street?"
    > >>>
    > >>> "Yes."
    > >>>
    > >>> "Well," said the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own all those, and I own them because I give a hand job that's worth $500."
    > >>>
    > >>> So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."
    > >>>
    > >>> They go to a nearby motel.
    > >>>
    > >>> A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he has just experienced
    > >>>
    > >>> the hand job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.
    > >>>
    > >>> He's so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow job is $1000."
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker says, "No, $1500."
    > >>>
    > >>> "I wouldn't pay that for a blow job!"
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker replies, "Step over to the window. Do you see those two casinos across the street?
    > >>>
    > >>> Well, I own those, and I own them because I give blow jobs that are worth every cent of $1500."
    > >>>
    > >>> The guy, still reeling from the terrific hand job, decides to put off buying a new car
    > >>>
    > >>> for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."
    > >>>
    > >>> Fifteen minutes later, he's sitting on the edge of the bed, more amazed than before.
    > >>>
    > >>> He can hardly believe it, but he feels he truly got his money's worth.
    > >>>
    > >>> Deciding to go for broke, he asks, "So, how much for some pussy?"
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker says, "Come back over to the window. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us?
    > >>>
    > >>> All those casinos, with the beautiful lights, the gaming, the showgirls?"
    > >>>
    > >>> "Damn!" says the guy in awe. "You own the whole city?"
    > >>>
    > >>> The hooker says, "No. But I would . . . if I had a pussy!"
     
  5. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    7,301
    Likes Received:
    1,247
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Pulau Alor ;)
    ^ so the kitty got stolen, and ransom asked for is 15000 BTC
    the doctor knowing this won't charge anything lesser than 20000 BTC to do the major job
    poor doctor BLOKE
     
  6. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    12,624
    Likes Received:
    1,700
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    A new Priest arrives in town and settling in, goes for a walk in the local town to visit the Mother Superior at the local Abbey on the hill and pay his respects.

    Following his map he travels down one street and from a doorway a young lady steps into the light and says "Fancy a quickie Father? Fifty bucks."

    Somewhat taken aback he mumbles "Good evening" and continues on his way.

    A short way down the street the same thing happens again. Lady from the shadows. "Fancy a quickie Father? Fifty bucks", and so on down the street.

    Finally he arrives at the Abbey and is welcomed in and sits down to tea with the Mother Superior.

    "How was your first view of town" she asks.

    "Oh very scenic" he replies, "but I must ask a question Mother Superior. What is a quickie?"

    Mother Superior put down her cup and smiled.

    "Fifty bucks. Same as in town."
     
  7. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    562
    Trophy Points:
    93
    The Perfect Answer!!




    I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed my wife. "I'm really disappointed."

    "You can hardly blame me," I answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you.”

    "Well that's your fault," she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it”
     
  8. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    7,091
    Likes Received:
    1,674
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
  9. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    7,301
    Likes Received:
    1,247
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Pulau Alor ;)
    [​IMG] its the other cat behind
     
    bordsilver likes this.
  10. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    7,301
    Likes Received:
    1,247
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Pulau Alor ;)
  11. Arch Stanton

    Arch Stanton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2015
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    268
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Pennsylvania USA
    "Hi, Couldn't help but notice the book you're reading".

    " Yes, it's about finding sexual satisfaction. It's interesting. Did you know that, statistically, American Indian and

    Polish men are the best lovers? By the way,my name is Jill." What's your name?"

    "Running Deer Kowalski. Nice to meet you".
     
    Aurora et luna likes this.
  12. JOHNLGALT

    JOHNLGALT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    671
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Country Victoria Australia
    Sorry for distracting you/all from your JOTD, but, but, but,
    A bit of BOLD, (& caps lock), a bit of colour, and a larger FONT.

    There, that should do the trick ha, ha. _JLG. stirring the pot - for a change.


    JOTD_ANYTHING.jpg
     
  13. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    7,091
    Likes Received:
    1,674
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
  14. JOHNLGALT

    JOHNLGALT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    671
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Country Victoria Australia
    Why did the chicken cross the road (anyone who knows the answer, PLEASE, don't spoil it for everyone else) _JLG.

    Nice color there Shaddam IV
     
  15. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    562
    Trophy Points:
    93
  16. Holdfast

    Holdfast Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    8,816
    Likes Received:
    83
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Australia
    What do you call a Greek guy falling out of an aeroplane without a parachute? - Condescending
     
    jerrygold and yuripuka like this.
  17. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    562
    Trophy Points:
    93

    Saturday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.

    I was bored with nothing to do.

    Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

    I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said: "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

    So I said, "Come in and sit down."

    I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

    He said, "Buggered if I know. Nobody's ever let me in before."
     
    JOHNLGALT likes this.
  18. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    7,301
    Likes Received:
    1,247
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Pulau Alor ;)
  19. sammysilver

    sammysilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    5,962
    Likes Received:
    537
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney
    bordsilver, adze67 and Killface like this.
  20. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    562
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin.

    ”Ooh”, said the presenter enthusiastically, “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century.

    Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

    “Sticks,” said Paddy.
     
    JOHNLGALT, bordsilver and sammysilver like this.

Share This Page