JOTD

It seems that the joke of the day thread has disappeared!

I'll kick it off with an obvious error from the guys at bullion bourse that made me laugh

http://www.bullionbourse.com/#!/~/product/category=4198806&id=2114662



Awww they fixed it already, they had a silver eagle listed at 1280.92

 

Yeh it is still here. Just that you cant see it.

There have been in million bytes vapourised. :lol:

 

Buzz the 1oz silver Eagle.

 

Oldie but a goody

 

BBQ RULES :
It is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

 

^ ...or men only BBQ where frivolous things like vegetables, salad, desert, cutlery, plates, sauces, tables and trays are unnecessary along with either bread or disposable napkins (but not both).

 

A slice of bread at a BBQ can be used as a plate, then eaten

 

Yea! What happened to JOTD thread ?...It was to me a library of jokes for future reference. :lol:

Regards Errol 43

 

Ooops.

 

Im sure your Mother will want to hear from you but you will have to call her again on May 12th the real Mothers day. Second sunday in may.

 

Sh1t! Really. :lol:

[Lucky though, cause I hadn't bought a present yet. ]

 

Underwear dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker...'It's not talcum powder...... It's 'Miracle Grow'

 

Recipe for the perfect marriage

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in VIC , and mine is in QLD

3. I take my wife everywhere....
But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

8. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

9. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

10. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

11. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

12 The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

 

Tonsillectomy vs Circumcision

Two little kids are in hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other in the pre-op room, outside the operating theatre, the first surgeries of the day.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots
of jelly and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "Circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies, "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

 

How many Bitcoin owners does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them: but only one screws it in while the others grudgingly approve of the result and make the whole operation difficult.

I blew my mind by blowing my mined Bitcoins on blocks of hash while hashing blocks

 

.
edit: too rude.

 

Should have edited out the first comment and left the rest. It would have still been funny.