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Results not typical said:
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The Gentleman Golfer...



A golfer hit his ball into a garden next to the golf course.

As he went to get it, the home owner said: "Don't you see the sign?

It says 'Private property - Stay Out!'"

The golfer replied: "I'm sorry, I didn't see it. That's my ball over
there. May I have it, please?"

The man said: "It's in my garden and so it's my ball now."

The golfer looked at the him and said: "I think I understand."

He walked back to the golf cart, got another golf ball, then walked
back and threw it into the garden.

The home owner asked: "Now what did you do that for?"

The golfer replied:
"I consider myself a gentleman, and I
believe every prick should have two balls."
 
I thought spanners were for nuts:

A MAN was left red-faced when firefighters had to be called to hospital to remove a tool from his penis.
The man became stuck after his penis swelled up in the ring spanner on Monday and he was unable to remove it.
Tweed firefighters say it not uncommon for them to be called to such jobs where people leave it too late to ask for help.
"It's really dangerous because inevitably people leave it too long to come see us because they are embarrassed, or say my wife said to put butter on it, sleep on it and it will go down," said senior firefighter Peter Sutherland.
"It never does."
Mr Sutherland said one man took his girlfriend with him to the hospital.
"The blood goes into the appendage whether it's a finger or whatever, it just swells up and by the time you realise it's too late," he said.
"We use a tiny angle grinder that's air operated and use measuring tape to protect the skin and slowly zip away at it while keeping water running on it so it doesn't get too hot.
"It's a pretty delicate operation especially where it is, there's a lot of blood vessels.
"We do quite a few of them."

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...r/news-story/a4927c224080aae448c1bac81e95cb64

We do quite a lot of them!!
What on earth do you guys get up to in your sheds? Really?
 
JulieW said:
I thought spanners were for nuts:

A MAN was left red-faced when firefighters had to be called to hospital to remove a tool from his penis.
The man became stuck after his penis swelled up in the ring spanner on Monday and he was unable to remove it.
Tweed firefighters say it not uncommon for them to be called to such jobs where people leave it too late to ask for help.
"It's really dangerous because inevitably people leave it too long to come see us because they are embarrassed, or say my wife said to put butter on it, sleep on it and it will go down," said senior firefighter Peter Sutherland.
"It never does."
Mr Sutherland said one man took his girlfriend with him to the hospital.
"The blood goes into the appendage whether it's a finger or whatever, it just swells up and by the time you realise it's too late," he said.
"We use a tiny angle grinder that's air operated and use measuring tape to protect the skin and slowly zip away at it while keeping water running on it so it doesn't get too hot.
"It's a pretty delicate operation especially where it is, there's a lot of blood vessels.
"We do quite a few of them."

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...r/news-story/a4927c224080aae448c1bac81e95cb64

We do quite a lot of them!!
What on earth do you guys get up to in your sheds? Really?

JuiieW...I don't normally follow your posts...:P :D
 
JulieW said:
I thought spanners were for nuts:

A MAN was left red-faced when firefighters had to be called to hospital to remove a tool from his penis.
The man became stuck after his penis swelled up in the ring spanner on Monday and he was unable to remove it.
Tweed firefighters say it not uncommon for them to be called to such jobs where people leave it too late to ask for help.
"It's really dangerous because inevitably people leave it too long to come see us because they are embarrassed, or say my wife said to put butter on it, sleep on it and it will go down," said senior firefighter Peter Sutherland.
"It never does."
Mr Sutherland said one man took his girlfriend with him to the hospital.
"The blood goes into the appendage whether it's a finger or whatever, it just swells up and by the time you realise it's too late," he said.
"We use a tiny angle grinder that's air operated and use measuring tape to protect the skin and slowly zip away at it while keeping water running on it so it doesn't get too hot.
"It's a pretty delicate operation especially where it is, there's a lot of blood vessels.
"We do quite a few of them."

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...r/news-story/a4927c224080aae448c1bac81e95cb64

We do quite a lot of them!!
What on earth do you guys get up to in your sheds? Really?

Shed? I usually do spanner play in the living room where the cat can watch. What kind of wierdo does it in a shed?



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Guys, this is a very funny video
Just not sure how to post it on this tread
I had to type in the link as it doesn't allow me to copy and paste anywhere on the video

VID-20160517-WA0014.mp4
 
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