JOTD

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when you are too busy taking care off silver, the manipulation is unseen :)
 
A man is out shopping and sees a new brand of Olympic condoms, and very impressed, he buys a pack.

He gets home and tells his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?" What makes them so special?"

"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly.

The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change..."
 
In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world."Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.
"Now don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another!" cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
 
systematic said:
JulieW said:
Spanish scientists have analysed 100 voluntarily uploaded videos of people's faces during orgasm.
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Watching 100 videos is not research ... it's an excuse to watch pron ...
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We have a professor here that was analysing the rural job market by looking through ads in newspapers. We were having a chat about how it was going etc. I asked how the (possibly) increasing use of alternative employment strategies, e.g. on-line advertising, setting up profiles on jobseeker sites, etc., were affecting the jobs market. He hadn't thought of that aspect of things but didn't think it would have much affect. This guy is a government advisor.
Makes watching porn sound vastly smarter.
 
Modern Solutions.

How to get vegemite off your toilet bowl.
Umbrella for people who can't open umbrellas.
Game cords to identify boys and girls.
A cheap watch with annoying electronic functions.
Help identify your stalking objective with a pet rock.
Catch up with South African murderers and wildlife.
A wrist life preserver to help you dangle upright under water

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDNlilnl8VY[/youtube]
 
Reality that defies understanding:

A Spanish civil servant who failed to turn up for work for six years was only discovered when he was considered for an award for loyal service.

Former public employee Joaqun Garca, who was still collecting his annual 37,000 ($58,000) salary, was on Friday ordered by Cdiz city hall to pay 27,000 in compensation.

He had been sent by the city council to oversee the building of a waste-water treatment plant in the south-western city, but records show that Mr Garca had not turned up for work for six years.

Mr Garca responded by filing his own complaint with city hall, demanding that councillor Jos Blas Fernndez, in charge of personnel at the time, be disciplined for negligence for failing to notice his absence.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/world/span...cts-salary-20160213-gmtkj7.html#ixzz4091vmhny
Follow us: @theage on Twitter | theageAustralia on Facebook
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Drunk Irishman driving home was pulled over by the motorbike cop. Do you realize that your wife has fallen out of the car two miles back..Thank God said the Irishman, I thought I had gone deaf.

Regards Errol 43
 
House said:
:lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbEbADMQD8o[/youtube]
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House, if I posted that I think you would have criticized me for finding it funny a child getting hit hard like that. :/

Btw, hows your beloved refugees in EU going? I see many EU people are having protests there calling for them trouble making scums to be kicked out. Is that because they are scums and not grateful refugees?
 
Skyrocket said:
House said:
:lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbEbADMQD8o[/youtube]
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House, if I posted that I think you would have criticized me for finding it funny a child getting hit hard like that. :/

Btw, hows your beloved refugees in EU going? I see many EU people are having protests there calling for them trouble making scums to be kicked out. Is that because they are scums and not grateful refugees?
Click to expand...
I'm surprised no one has yet made an indignant report to GoldPelican about the Ghetto Monkey video.
 
Skyrocket said:
House said:
:lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbEbADMQD8o[/youtube]
Click to expand...



House, if I posted that I think you would have criticized me for finding it funny a child getting hit hard like that. :/

Btw, hows your beloved refugees in EU going? I see many EU people are having protests there calling for them trouble making scums to be kicked out. Is that because they are scums and not grateful refugees?
Click to expand...

Actually looks like he was waiting for it. Is this better? [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik3Cp6Qax2Y[/youtube]

No idea but none of my friends or relatives I've spoken to all over Europe haven't had any issues or know anyone who has. Out of 4 million+ refugees of course there'll be a fair few assholes to ruin it for the majority. Surprised you're not over there joining in on the protests seeing as you're so vocal about it :)

Silverpete, not yet anyway. I found it entertaining :)
 
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