JOTD

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Low Bridge Ahead..................
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right a head
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
News cameras are there, so inevitably shy turns up to shed some fake crocodile tear about the country shoppers. The shy gets out of her car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts her hands on her hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
 
Adult content:-









WORDS YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR DURING SEX


"You feel almost as good as my wife."

"You know, your mother is so much better!"

"Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

"Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!! !

"Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."

"Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"

"Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol

"Oops I did it again."

"Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on in one minute."

"Is it hurting? I can't even feel it."

"Is it in yet?"

"Do you think your sister would like to join us?"

"I think we should paint the ceiling ivory"

"Are you sure you're not named 'Speedy Gonzales'."

"Oops, sorry I called you by your brother's name."

"Did you just have salami for lunch?"

Fart, giggling, fart, giggling, fart, giggling.

"WRONG HOLE!!!"

"Finished! I didn't think you started yet."

Laughing with the explanation: "I just remembered a joke I heard today."

"But you said you would be through by the time the commercial was over
 
I know where Chip hides his bars

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Three Naked Black Men

At the National Art Gallery, in Dublin, Ireland, a Canadian couple were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men, totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises but the one in the middle, had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of the black man in a predominately white, patriarchal society.

"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, an Irish man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the husband.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it." he replied.

"In fact, there are no black men depicted at all.

They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."
 
Researchers for the Texas Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near
greater Austin area recently, and there was concern that they may have died
from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and,
to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of
paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint
residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with
trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

TTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause
for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological
Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always
have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah",
not a single one could shout "Truck."

Absolutely amazing! Makes you wonder why you gave me your email address, doesn't it?
 
sconejon said:
I am walking me bar in the morning

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:rolleyes:
Wow!!! Is that really you SconeJam???

what sort of personal bar are you trying to show off there??? :| :|

well it might not be much, but I salute to you Sir.

that definitely beat my 5 oz PM bars or my 1 oz Engelhard bars for sure any day. :(

You know you shouldn't put yours personal picture in a public forum.
Unless you are trying to beat me with yours heavy duty bar. :P
 
bet you delete them as always Chump :rolleyes:
cant find any new material, they're old and used.
nice attempt at humour though, we know you have none

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Russian wedding photos.
Sometimes I think I understand Russians and then I realise I understand nothing at all!
I want to go to ALL these weddings!

BJFNTq1.jpg

Source: Russian Weddings

ybaWRqg.jpg

Source:Russian Weddings

S3IHpsj.jpg

Source: Russian Weddings
 
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