JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
- Start date
- Status
That film was removed from the video shelves in the UK during the 80s but it was still playing at the London Trocadero Centre on a continuous loop. Never got to see it in London but my friend had a pirate VHS copy. Things were a bit more complicated back then.
This bogan decided to steal a $375 bottle of 12 year old Japanese whiskey but note the 2 bottles of coke she has also taken to mix with it????
She was caught this afternoon. I wonder if the distinctive koala patterned pants gave here away.
She was caught this afternoon. I wonder if the distinctive koala patterned pants gave here away.
Scott Morrison is hit by a bus and dies. The bus driver had to swerve to get him but it was close.
So he arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter. He says,
'Welcome to heaven Scott. We don't get a lot of politicians up her so the Boss says before you decide on here or downstairs, you'll have to spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven, then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
"You mean we get to choose whether we go to Heaven or Hell?" says Scott.
"Yes" says St Peter. "The Boss says it's your final 'free choice'. You wouldn't believe the problems that little rule causes us here at the front desk.
"O.K. But I don't need to decide" says Scott. 'I've made up my mind a long time ago. I want to be in Heaven'
'I'm sorry, but the Boss is adamant. You have to see both sides" says St Peter.
With that, St. Peter escorts him to the lift and Scott went down, down, down to Hell.
The doors opened and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had helping themselves and each other to all the bounty on offer in the Budget. They all play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.
The Devil arrives and turns out to be a very nice, friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. "How good is Hell" shouts Scott as he is ushered into the lift which carries him back to St Peter.
'Now it's time to show you around Heaven.' says St Peter.
So, instantly sober, Scott is introduced to a group of contented souls and together they move from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing. Scott loves a singalong and he was having a good time and 24 hours go quickly.
'Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven Scott, so now. Choose your eternity.'
Scott thinks for a moment and then answers:
'Well, I would never have thought it before, I mean Heaven has been great, but I think I think I'd be better off in Hell. It's pretty exciting and there's a bunch of my mates there, so if you don't mind I think it's Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down down to Hell.
When the doors open he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and refuse.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the rubbish and putting it in black bags as more garbage falls from above.
The Devil comes over and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"G'Day Scotty. You can start on that pile over there OK?
"I don't understand," says Scott,
"Yesterday there was a golf course and clubhouse, we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? '
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, ' Yesterday we were campaigning . . .
Today you voted.....
So he arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter. He says,
'Welcome to heaven Scott. We don't get a lot of politicians up her so the Boss says before you decide on here or downstairs, you'll have to spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven, then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
"You mean we get to choose whether we go to Heaven or Hell?" says Scott.
"Yes" says St Peter. "The Boss says it's your final 'free choice'. You wouldn't believe the problems that little rule causes us here at the front desk.
"O.K. But I don't need to decide" says Scott. 'I've made up my mind a long time ago. I want to be in Heaven'
'I'm sorry, but the Boss is adamant. You have to see both sides" says St Peter.
With that, St. Peter escorts him to the lift and Scott went down, down, down to Hell.
The doors opened and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had helping themselves and each other to all the bounty on offer in the Budget. They all play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.
The Devil arrives and turns out to be a very nice, friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. "How good is Hell" shouts Scott as he is ushered into the lift which carries him back to St Peter.
'Now it's time to show you around Heaven.' says St Peter.
So, instantly sober, Scott is introduced to a group of contented souls and together they move from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing. Scott loves a singalong and he was having a good time and 24 hours go quickly.
'Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven Scott, so now. Choose your eternity.'
Scott thinks for a moment and then answers:
'Well, I would never have thought it before, I mean Heaven has been great, but I think I think I'd be better off in Hell. It's pretty exciting and there's a bunch of my mates there, so if you don't mind I think it's Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down down to Hell.
When the doors open he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and refuse.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the rubbish and putting it in black bags as more garbage falls from above.
The Devil comes over and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"G'Day Scotty. You can start on that pile over there OK?
"I don't understand," says Scott,
"Yesterday there was a golf course and clubhouse, we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? '
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, ' Yesterday we were campaigning . . .
Today you voted.....
OMG, I just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person. All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist!
So wife and hubby are in bed, and hubby makes the move.
Wife coos and wiggles and, no, hubby goes back to reading in his book.
Hubby makes the move. Again Wife coos and makes herself more comfortable.
But again, Hubby removes his hand and goes back to his book.
Hubby makes the move again and Wife coos. Hubby removes hand again.
Wife explodes.
"What are you doing Husband. You reach down, I'm in the mood and then you go back to reading that stupid book.
"Oh sorry" says Hubby, "My mouth is dry and I need to turn the pages.
Wife coos and wiggles and, no, hubby goes back to reading in his book.
Hubby makes the move. Again Wife coos and makes herself more comfortable.
But again, Hubby removes his hand and goes back to his book.
Hubby makes the move again and Wife coos. Hubby removes hand again.
Wife explodes.
"What are you doing Husband. You reach down, I'm in the mood and then you go back to reading that stupid book.
"Oh sorry" says Hubby, "My mouth is dry and I need to turn the pages.
Excellent!
It's Rubbish Bin Night.
It's Rubbish Bin Night.
- Status