JOTD

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Buttigieg nursing a child.pngPete Buttigieg feeding his adopted soon to be screwed up kid.
No wonder America is going downhill with these sick losers telling us what to do.

The adoption agency should be ashamed of themselves for allowing this.
 
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Words of wisdom


My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness............I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "close enough."

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

Retirement to do list: Wake up. Nailed it!

Went to an antique show and people were bidding on me.

I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.

Hold on while I overthink this.

Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.

Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it's a beautiful day.

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
 
when did joke of the day thread become boomer struggling to understand 2021? more jokes, less my life is hard kthx.

YdNyarE.jpg
 
A blonde goes into the local library, walks up to the librarian and says,

“I’ll have a cheeseburger, French fries and a chocolate shake, please.”

To which the librarian says,

“I’m sorry lady but this is a library.”

To which the blonde whispers,

“Oh. I’m sorry. I’ll have a cheeseburger, French fries and a chocolate shake.l
 
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
“Are you sure the power is off?”
“Don't be so superstitious.”
“He's probably just hibernating.”
“I can do that with my eyes closed.”
“I can make this light before it changes.”
“I wonder where the mother bear is?”
“I'll get a world record for this.”
“I'll hold it and you light the fuse.”
“I'm making a citizen's arrest.”
“It's fireproof.”
“It's probably just a rash.”
“It's strong enough for both of us.”
“I've done this before.”
“I've seen this done on TV.”
“Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.”
“Let it down slowly.”
“Nice doggie.”
“Now watch this...”
“Pull the pin and count to what?”
“Rat poison only kills rats.”
“So, you're a cannibal...”
“That's odd.”
“The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!”
“These are the good kind of mushrooms.”
“This doesn't taste right.”
“Well, we've made it this far.”
“What does this button do?”
“What duck?”
“Which wire was I supposed to cut?”
“You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?”
 
I slowed down and stopped asking him if he wanted a ride. After all this is rural Maine and not the big city….we try to help our neighbors if we can.

He gets in and thanks me for picking him up….we talk a little about the heat. Here was the part that I will never forget: He says to me

” thanks again….I mean…you don’t know me and I could have been a serial killer, doesn’t that scare you?"

I said.

“Nah….what’s the chance of two serial killers in the car at the same time”
 
If it’s not a joke then it'll get deleted. There are more than enough threads here already filled with intelligent debate about viruses, gays and Greta.

Joke (noun)
something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act.
 
That was bad taste on my part and no hate intended.
My daughter's roommate is a gay half black guy from Texas (if you can believe that!) and he and his crew take good care of her. He has his own area but it's in a big house so they are mostly neighbors although at times outfits and purses might get exchanged.
I'm a big mouth by nature and a man of the woods so those lily fellers get my attention and its sometimes fascinating although I do draw the line somewhere of course.


I just thought it was a bit off the deep end if the picture is real I have no idea but I wouldnt doubt it.
Between my daughter at 26 yrs old and her roomie and my son at 30 we have no grandkids yet but I keep telling them to get knocked up, get to work or do something about this. We dont have forever.

We wont ask questions, dont care about how or why, race, color, who da daddy or any of that.
I tell her to forget everything I told her about boys and just get that baby on the way and she just rolls her eyes and laughs and throws out a hell no.
I tell her gay roomie Dustin that if he and Sierra were to drink a little too much one night and something happened I wouldnt ever be mad haha. He has a good laugh at that and knows I'm kidding around...yet serious.

We still have time and a new boyfriend in the mix now that wants kids and a family and they are serious.
She told me hes a "Libertarian" and he hoped his political views didnt mess up anything between them, not knowing her views.
She said you think your right wing.....you havent met my parents.
 
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^ that’s not a joke, but I’ll let it ride because it’s actually refreshing.

Reminder, let’s just stick to jokes here. :)
 
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