JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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A Day At The Races
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse, to watch horse racing.
When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their ‘wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry.
As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, ‘You must be in Grade 3?’
‘No ma'am’, he replied. ‘I'm the jockey riding Black Caviar in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse, to watch horse racing.
When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their ‘wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry.
As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, ‘You must be in Grade 3?’
‘No ma'am’, he replied. ‘I'm the jockey riding Black Caviar in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.
Medical experts were asked if it is time to ease the lockdown.
Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.
Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.
“Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes.
Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.
Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.
“Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes.
@Aurora et luna ...you missed the acupuncturists who said "lets put a pin in it"
The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that
"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course…
13.Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
There are many Dead Horses in Government.
Cheers Markco2
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