JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers.
I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000 ."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers.
I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000 ."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine."
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A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her First Child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
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A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I Couldn't breathe."
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An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "Duh, If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at YOU yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on "ALL OF YOU" because I wasn't even at home yesterday !
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine."
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A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her First Child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------
A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I Couldn't breathe."
------------
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "Duh, If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
------------
A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at YOU yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on "ALL OF YOU" because I wasn't even at home yesterday !
^ does that settle it that cats are slow af?
Saudi Boy go to SOGO hotel and order Dates ~ by #SaudiPinoy
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https://www.rt.com/op-ed/485397-us-blame-china-covid19-compensation/
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Donald Trump 'lost $1bn in a month' from coronavirus lockdown https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...zMgy1QgjqpMRVEQzhIyezYVuMApcBLmjrc6CDpf9RzabU
The US and UK are emerging as the worst-hit nations from the Covid-19 pandemic. Instead of admitting inherent failings and facing public accountability, the narrative is to blame it all on China and even demand compensation.
https://www.rt.com/op-ed/485397-us-blame-china-covid19-compensation/
lock down karma
Donald Trump 'lost $1bn in a month' from coronavirus lockdown https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...zMgy1QgjqpMRVEQzhIyezYVuMApcBLmjrc6CDpf9RzabU
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