JOTD
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Mortuary Entrances…
Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on
their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate.
"First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of
heart failure while making love to his 20-year-old mistress.
Hence the smile," says the coroner.
"Second body is Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the
Lottery. Spent it all on whisky.
Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." he says.
The police inspector asked, "So what about this third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why the broad grin, then?" inquires the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken.
Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on
their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate.
"First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of
heart failure while making love to his 20-year-old mistress.
Hence the smile," says the coroner.
"Second body is Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the
Lottery. Spent it all on whisky.
Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." he says.
The police inspector asked, "So what about this third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why the broad grin, then?" inquires the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken.
What is it? 10 days or so of Parliament till May?
Black comedy continues.
From The Guardian.
Black comedy continues.
From The Guardian.
“This is a government which has simply ceased to govern. Not only have they given up governing, they’ve given up pretending to govern. They have no agenda and no legislation,” Shorten said, adding the government was now “swept along by the currents of hate and division”.
Morrison, who departed for the G20 meeting in Argentina immediately after question time, attempted to repel the political assault by pointing to the government’s record in economic management.
The prime minister said there were “more Australians turning up to work under this government than ever happened under their government” – prompting a Labor MP to interject caustically – “except for you”.
https://www.theguardian.com/austral...e-civil-war-shortens-parting-shot-to-morrisonMorrison, who departed for the G20 meeting in Argentina immediately after question time, attempted to repel the political assault by pointing to the government’s record in economic management.
The prime minister said there were “more Australians turning up to work under this government than ever happened under their government” – prompting a Labor MP to interject caustically – “except for you”.
This happens in our kitchen all the time!
Woman farts in store, pulls knife on offended customer: cops
A Florida woman who passed gas in a convenience store pulled a knife and threatened to “gut” a man who complained about it, police said.
Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. Police arrested her on Sunday and booked her at a detention facility in Pompano Beach, where her bail was set at $2,500.
Police say the alleged colon culprit threatened the customer, John Walker, when he complained about her flatulence while standing in line together at a Dollar General store in Dania Beach, according to an affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald.
Walker got into a verbal argument with Wilson “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” the arrest report states.
Wilson reportedly took a knife out of her purse and threatened to “gut” the man. She held the knife in her right hand and motioned in a way that looked like she was going to stab him, police said.
https://nypost.com/2018/11/29/woman-farts-in-store-pulls-knife-on-offended-customer-cops/
Woman farts in store, pulls knife on offended customer: cops
A Florida woman who passed gas in a convenience store pulled a knife and threatened to “gut” a man who complained about it, police said.
Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. Police arrested her on Sunday and booked her at a detention facility in Pompano Beach, where her bail was set at $2,500.
Police say the alleged colon culprit threatened the customer, John Walker, when he complained about her flatulence while standing in line together at a Dollar General store in Dania Beach, according to an affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald.
Walker got into a verbal argument with Wilson “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” the arrest report states.
Wilson reportedly took a knife out of her purse and threatened to “gut” the man. She held the knife in her right hand and motioned in a way that looked like she was going to stab him, police said.
https://nypost.com/2018/11/29/woman-farts-in-store-pulls-knife-on-offended-customer-cops/
I personally have no issue with our pollies sitting less days than more...gives then less time to come up with new ways to screw with our lives. Come May 2019, Bill has list longer than ya arm to #%$^ you, me and this country.....
BTW: your comment on pollies pay and the gig economy...agreed.
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