JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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Arch Stanton
Well-Known Member
Years ago I threw a boomerang into the air.
I have been living in fear ever since.
I have been living in fear ever since.
A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"
The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."
The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."
The man replies, "Listen you idiot. The window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter."
The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."
The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."
The man replies, "Listen you idiot. The window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter."
Greens senator, Sarah Hanson-young, is touring live cattle export yards in the senator's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road; they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Sarah in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer " says Sarah, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything."
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My god, what happened to you?" asks Sarah.
The chauffeur replies "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whiskey. The wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Sarah.
"I knocked on the door and when it answered, I said to them I’m Sarah Hanson-young's chauffeur and I’ve just killed the cow."
Sarah in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer " says Sarah, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything."
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My god, what happened to you?" asks Sarah.
The chauffeur replies "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whiskey. The wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Sarah.
"I knocked on the door and when it answered, I said to them I’m Sarah Hanson-young's chauffeur and I’ve just killed the cow."
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