JOTD

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Dad: I want you to marry a girl I choose for you.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: OK
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill: Then OK.
Dad goes to the president of the World Bank
Dad: I want you to make my son CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Yes!

This is how business works.
 
Dude : I am sorry about your wife's death. But how come you married her sister ?

Bro : I don't have the strength to cope with a new Mother in law.
 
Bob and Ray, two government maintenance men, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.


A woman walked by and curiously asked what they were doing.


We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,”


said Bob, “But we don’t have a ladder.”


The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”


She then loosened a few bolts at the flag’s base and laid the pole down.


She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.


Ray shook his head and laughed, “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-Know-It-All” woman, he said,


“We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Bob and Ray are still working for the government. . . . but now they are MPs.
 
Nicoderm


Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.


He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed

to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.'


The other one replies, 'It's working just fine.

I'm down to two butts a day.'


***IF YOU LAUGH....YOU'LL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!
 
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