JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour, and asked her for her mobile number, so I could call her to make arrangements.
She got excited and said:
"sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonigh"
Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese women express their hospitality!
But then, my friend interpreted it for me and told me what she really said was: 666 136 429
She got excited and said:
"sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonigh"
Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese women express their hospitality!
But then, my friend interpreted it for me and told me what she really said was: 666 136 429
Monastery of Silence
Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.
The Abbot said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome
here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to
do so."
Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the
Abbot said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5
years. You can speak two words."
Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said, "We will get you a better
bed."
After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Abbot,
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine."
"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Abbot assured her
that the food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbot again called
Sister Mary Katherine into his office. He said, "You may say two words
today."
"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine."
The Abbot said, "It's probably for the best, you've done fuck all but
complain since you've been here."
Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.
The Abbot said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome
here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to
do so."
Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the
Abbot said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5
years. You can speak two words."
Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said, "We will get you a better
bed."
After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Abbot,
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine."
"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Abbot assured her
that the food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbot again called
Sister Mary Katherine into his office. He said, "You may say two words
today."
"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine."
The Abbot said, "It's probably for the best, you've done fuck all but
complain since you've been here."
lowtech
Active Member
For those who'd enjoy reading a nine-page whitepaper titled:
Indirect Tracking of Drop Bears Using GNSS Technology
By VOLKER JANSSEN,
University of Tasmania, Australia
https://eprints.utas.edu.au/15881/1/2012_Janssen_AusGeog_journal_version.pdf
Indirect Tracking of Drop Bears Using GNSS Technology
By VOLKER JANSSEN,
University of Tasmania, Australia
https://eprints.utas.edu.au/15881/1/2012_Janssen_AusGeog_journal_version.pdf
Bugger the drop bears for 9 pages.
How about 290 pages on:
https://issuu.com/subtelforum/docs/almanacissue_26
Submarine Cable Almanac Issue 26
Some cool diagrams.
Published on May 15, 2018
Since the last issue, we have updated over half of the systems listed with substantive changes and modernized every single system map with new visual elements. As part of our continuing company wide roll out of new technology, the Almanac is now an entirely automated document. By removing more than five different steps performed by five different individuals, the Almanac is not only a timelier publication, but more accurate with less potential transcription errors. The data provided in this document is, as it ever has been, from the public domain and supplied by owners and suppliers directly. If you see a system that needs updating, or know of an upcoming system that needs to be represented, please feel free to contact us directly at almanac@subtelforum.com. Thank you to our sponsors: OFS STF Analytics SubOptic
How about 290 pages on:
https://issuu.com/subtelforum/docs/almanacissue_26
Submarine Cable Almanac Issue 26
Some cool diagrams.
Published on May 15, 2018
Since the last issue, we have updated over half of the systems listed with substantive changes and modernized every single system map with new visual elements. As part of our continuing company wide roll out of new technology, the Almanac is now an entirely automated document. By removing more than five different steps performed by five different individuals, the Almanac is not only a timelier publication, but more accurate with less potential transcription errors. The data provided in this document is, as it ever has been, from the public domain and supplied by owners and suppliers directly. If you see a system that needs updating, or know of an upcoming system that needs to be represented, please feel free to contact us directly at almanac@subtelforum.com. Thank you to our sponsors: OFS STF Analytics SubOptic
Q: What is the stacker's favorite music?
A: Heavy metal
Q: What do you call a piece of gold who is afraid of the spiders?
A: A chicken nugget
Q: What is the similarity between a fake gold nugget and a clover plant?
A: They are both shamrock
Q: How is silver like an undercooked stake?
A: They are both rare
Q: Why did the robber break into the canoe store?
A: He heard that gold is found in ores.
Q: What video game to stackers like to play?
A: Minecraft!
A: Heavy metal
Q: What do you call a piece of gold who is afraid of the spiders?
A: A chicken nugget
Q: What is the similarity between a fake gold nugget and a clover plant?
A: They are both shamrock
Q: How is silver like an undercooked stake?
A: They are both rare
Q: Why did the robber break into the canoe store?
A: He heard that gold is found in ores.
Q: What video game to stackers like to play?
A: Minecraft!
I feel the burn from here!
grounded dog come to life again
Arch Stanton
Well-Known Member
Harvey Weinstein Puddin n Pie
Raped the Girls and Made Them Cry.
When the Boys Came Out to Play
Harvey Weinstein Slithered Away.
Raped the Girls and Made Them Cry.
When the Boys Came Out to Play
Harvey Weinstein Slithered Away.
SPAGHETTI ITALIAN STYLE
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would
pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have
the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he
would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child
support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife
obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and
fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would
pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have
the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he
would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child
support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife
obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and
fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
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