JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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This man runs the country responsible for producing 80% of the worlds platinum and rhodium as well as 40% of the total palladium production and you haven't gone out and bought up all the PGMs you can find ?
*Laughter Therapy*
While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents,
"I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life"
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents ??????
like "I will keep your son happy for the rest of his life"
Nooo.... because women don't tell lies
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!!!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Son : Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Son: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “i am talking to my wife”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.. She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Husband to wife : U should learn to embrace your mistakes…..
She hugged him immediately.
While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents,
"I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life"
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents ??????
like "I will keep your son happy for the rest of his life"
Nooo.... because women don't tell lies
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!!!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Son : Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Son: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “i am talking to my wife”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.. She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Husband to wife : U should learn to embrace your mistakes…..
She hugged him immediately.
Thanks to Donald Trump, the world is awash with blonde men jokes!
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine."
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A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
----------------------
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her First Child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
-----------------------
A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I Couldn't breathe."
----------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "Duh, If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
---------------------
A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
---------------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
----------------------
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at YOU yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on "ALL OF YOU" because I wasn't even at home yesterday
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine."
-----------------------
A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
----------------------
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her First Child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
-----------------------
A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I Couldn't breathe."
----------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "Duh, If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
---------------------
A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
---------------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
----------------------
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at YOU yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on "ALL OF YOU" because I wasn't even at home yesterday
Very prescient.
Applications open.
Roam empty department corridors with fun people.
Get complimented and complimentary coffee.
P.s. Real advert:
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-polit...:nnn-17092015-edtrs_socialshare-all-n-n-smh-o
And the not real one!
or maybe it's the other way round.
Roam empty department corridors with fun people.
Get complimented and complimentary coffee.
P.s. Real advert:
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-polit...:nnn-17092015-edtrs_socialshare-all-n-n-smh-o
And the not real one!
or maybe it's the other way round.
Last edited:
some one not please, prefer to have a drive through at the Dental Officejust get some new blue tooth, your is old fashion
Arch Stanton
Well-Known Member
How to prepare Tofu in two easy steps.
1 Throw it in the trash
2 Grill some meat
1 Throw it in the trash
2 Grill some meat
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