JOTD
- Thread starter DanielM
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I heard those kinds of places were shutting down because everyone dies of covid now.
*Joke of the day*
1. When your life is in darkness, Pray to God and ask Him to free you from darkness..... and
If you are still in darkness..Pls pay your Electrical bill.
2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.
3. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
4. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack
& our driver ran away...
5. A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential.
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!
7. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
1. When your life is in darkness, Pray to God and ask Him to free you from darkness..... and
If you are still in darkness..Pls pay your Electrical bill.
2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.
3. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
4. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack
& our driver ran away...
5. A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential.
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!
7. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
Senior Golfers
Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel you want a pee and nothing happens."
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."
“Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all.”
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
“No, I pee every morning at 6.00 am. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all.”
"Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6.30 am."
Puzzled with this the 60-year-old said, "Let's get this straight. You pee every morning at 6.00 am and crap every morning at 6.30 am. So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until seven."..
Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel you want a pee and nothing happens."
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."
“Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all.”
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
“No, I pee every morning at 6.00 am. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all.”
"Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6.30 am."
Puzzled with this the 60-year-old said, "Let's get this straight. You pee every morning at 6.00 am and crap every morning at 6.30 am. So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until seven."..
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