JOTD

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I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Walmart and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me.
 
Ralph Davis of Wahroonga called ‘‘the Weather Bureau’s 1300 057 081 weather-call info line to hear the seasonal outlook for the next three months and was pleased to hear about rainfall and cooler weather coming. Just one small problem

– the recording was last updated in April 2008.’’
 
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