Golden ChipMunk
Well-Known Member
Congratulation House.
Buzzz
My mascot want to sign a contract with you.
Sorry Im no joker.
Buzzz
My mascot want to sign a contract with you.
Sorry Im no joker.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch....
And now the joke...
A man goes into a shop where the window is adorned with clocks and watches, and asked how much to repair his watch. The old Jewish man behind the counter says, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not a Jeweler, I'm a Mohel"
"A Mohel?"
"Sure, a Mohel. I perform circumcisions."
"But", asks the confused man, "what about all the clocks and watches in your window?"
"So", replies the Jew, "what do you suggest I put in there?"
And now the joke...
A man goes into a shop where the window is adorned with clocks and watches, and asked how much to repair his watch. The old Jewish man behind the counter says, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not a Jeweler, I'm a Mohel"
"A Mohel?"
"Sure, a Mohel. I perform circumcisions."
"But", asks the confused man, "what about all the clocks and watches in your window?"
"So", replies the Jew, "what do you suggest I put in there?"
An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Doctor to see what he had to say about the wife being pregnant.
Hmmmm.
The doctor said let me tell you a story about this 82 year old man I know, This man went hunting every hunting season his whole life, never missed an event. One year he got ready to go hunting and grabbed an umbrella instead of his gun.
He got to the beaver pond and saw a beaver pulled up the umbrella and said pow pow and the beaver fell over dead.
The Doctor asked the 82 year old patient what he thought happened to the beaver and the patient said I think someone else shot the beaver.
Congrats House.
Hmmmm.
The doctor said let me tell you a story about this 82 year old man I know, This man went hunting every hunting season his whole life, never missed an event. One year he got ready to go hunting and grabbed an umbrella instead of his gun.
He got to the beaver pond and saw a beaver pulled up the umbrella and said pow pow and the beaver fell over dead.
The Doctor asked the 82 year old patient what he thought happened to the beaver and the patient said I think someone else shot the beaver.
Congrats House.
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed.
The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a long hard look at herself. "You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old women. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby". She turns to her husband and says " Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself". The husband studies her hard for a moment, thinking about it, and then says in a soft , thoughtful voice, " Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight".
Welldone House.
I can't claim.
Won your first 1966 Round Comp.
Just wanted to tell you a bad joke to make you feel better :lol:
Cheers markcoinoz
The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a long hard look at herself. "You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old women. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby". She turns to her husband and says " Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself". The husband studies her hard for a moment, thinking about it, and then says in a soft , thoughtful voice, " Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight".
Welldone House.
I can't claim.
Won your first 1966 Round Comp.
Just wanted to tell you a bad joke to make you feel better :lol:
Cheers markcoinoz
Ahhh shit missed it all.... 
Was gonna ask how do you get house laid....
Was gonna ask how do you get house laid....
Marsi said:Eureka Moments said:Marsi said:
Wasnt sure whether you were a chick or not Marsi.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Good to see see somebody took advantage of my opening.
Ps. I think that one can go toward your quality post count
I just spat vodka all over my keyboard, if you don't get a free 50 for that I will send you one Marsi. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Caught up with House today at the regular Sydney CBD meet. He kindly gave me the 50 cent piece in exchange for my joke which I considered to be best on this thread.
A big thanks!
Meanwhile, bearing in mind our pub was the site of a shooting late last year, this happened during drinks.
CBD fire: scores evacuated as smoke billows from building
A fire in a pizza oven in a restaurant on the ground floor of an office block has forced the evacuation of about 1000 people and sent thick black smoke billlowing through the streets of Sydney's CBD.
Firefighters were called to the 20-storey building, on the corner of Liverpool and Pitt streets, about 1pm after the fire broke out in the building.
A big thanks!
Meanwhile, bearing in mind our pub was the site of a shooting late last year, this happened during drinks.
CBD fire: scores evacuated as smoke billows from building
A fire in a pizza oven in a restaurant on the ground floor of an office block has forced the evacuation of about 1000 people and sent thick black smoke billlowing through the streets of Sydney's CBD.
Firefighters were called to the 20-storey building, on the corner of Liverpool and Pitt streets, about 1pm after the fire broke out in the building.
H
House
Guest
You're both welcome 
Golden ChipMunk
Well-Known Member
Am I getting one too House. You seem very generous these days.
Kinda miss you in Perth. Lol.
Something to remember you with. If I get it I might frame it.
Kinda miss you in Perth. Lol.
Something to remember you with. If I get it I might frame it.
shinymetal
Well-Known Member
Haven't being back to my.house in quite a while, but have being informed that it has arrived.. thanks a bunch
Wooo
Wooo
...is that where the random one came from in the mail? Thanks!
H
House
Guest
You didn't post a joke so no, none for the little ChipGolden ChipMunk said:Am I getting one too House. You seem very generous these days.
Kinda miss you in Perth. Lol.
Something to remember you with. If I get it I might frame it.
Maybe next time if you're quicker. You're welcome. Next time I'll add agoldpelican said:
EM, check your local PO
Golden ChipMunk
Well-Known Member
Hmm. So sad. Too bad.
I got a fiddy in the mail. It's got corners on it.
Crappy as my jokes I suppose so cant complain.
Thanks House....oh and thanks for the nice round one too.
Crappy as my jokes I suppose so cant complain.
Thanks House....oh and thanks for the nice round one too.
H
House
Guest
No that was a reward for a significant increase in your quality post count over the last few months
House said:No that was a reward for a significant increase in your quality post count over the last few months
3576/109 = 32.81
Never been under 30. Im seeing big things for the P/QP going forward.
This is non-quality post #3468 which moves the ratio out a smidge.