JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 58 of 557
  1. Stark

    Stark Active Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,755
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Europe
    Stark, Apr 5, 2015
    #1141
  2. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsyzC0MHH98[/youtube]
     
    JulieW, Apr 7, 2015
    #1142
  3. Clawhammer

    Clawhammer Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,809
    Likes Received:
    73
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Gone Fishin'
    [​IMG]
     
    Clawhammer, Apr 8, 2015
    #1143
  4. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    Tell me that one about the future and the youth again.

    [​IMG]
    Source: Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. - Albert Einstein
     
    JulieW, Apr 11, 2015
    #1144
  5. robmetal

    robmetal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2015
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    tell me about the youth and the future again
     
    robmetal, Apr 11, 2015
    #1145
  6. serial

    serial Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,128
    Likes Received:
    3,320
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    wa
    irony is posting a picture like that on a internet forum
    it is like a Luddite using an industrial printing machine to complain about machines replacing them
     
    serial, Apr 11, 2015
    #1146
  7. SpacePete

    SpacePete Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    12,433
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Damn young people these days:

    "SELF-ADMIRING, EMACIATED FRIBBLES"

    In Paris Fashion: A Cultural History, Valerie Steele published a letter sent to Town and Country magazine in November 1771 by a reader who wanted to get something off of his chest:

    Whither are the manly vigor and athletic appearance of our forefathers flown? Can these be their legitimate heirs? Surely, no; a race of effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles can never have descended in a direct line from the heroes of Potiers and Agincourt...

    And several more: http://mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-complaints-about-young-people-ruining-everything
     
    SpacePete, Apr 11, 2015
    #1147
  8. Clawhammer

    Clawhammer Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,809
    Likes Received:
    73
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Gone Fishin'
    [​IMG]
     
    Clawhammer, Apr 11, 2015
    #1148
  9. Holdfast

    Holdfast Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    4,628
    Likes Received:
    1,125
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSsvQwdQIJs[/youtube]
     
    Holdfast, Apr 12, 2015
    #1149
  10. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    Damaged for life.
     
    JulieW, Apr 12, 2015
    #1150
  11. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    [​IMG]
    Source: Irony Bank
     
    JulieW, Apr 12, 2015
    #1151
  12. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    I get one of those senior emails - with a collection of content in the title.

    Today's read:

    Gave me quite a giggle.
     
    JulieW, Apr 13, 2015
    #1152
  13. Clawhammer

    Clawhammer Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,809
    Likes Received:
    73
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Gone Fishin'
    Clawhammer, Apr 15, 2015
    #1153
  14. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    8,483
    Likes Received:
    8,320
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
    Dr. Karl. What a sad joke he is.
     
    Shaddam IV, Apr 15, 2015
    #1154
  15. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    So Husband buys son an iPAD, daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE and me an iRON.

    He knows nothing.

    I was not impressed.

    He explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK and iCLEAN network.

    Unfortunately for him it also triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function.

    So he graciously books me into the Relaxaday beauty salon for a complete firmware revision, then to Glamour Gowns for a new cover. This partly restored functions. He is hoping full service will be restored with a collection of gold and diamond chips tonight.

    The iRON function has been revised and partly reinstalled but it depends on iGROVEL which must be enacted before he can remove my Glamour Gowns cover and get at the software to ensure his RAM status is restored.

    He knows nothing about operating systems.
     
    JulieW, Apr 15, 2015
    #1155
  16. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    Dog Diary Versus Cat Diary


    DOG DIARY
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    CAT DIARY

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
     
    JulieW, Apr 15, 2015
    #1156
  17. SpacePete

    SpacePete Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    12,433
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    48
    :lol:

    I can perfectly imagine the pissed-off face on that cat:

    [​IMG]
     
    SpacePete, Apr 15, 2015
    #1157
  18. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,063
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    Two policemen call the station on the radio.

    "Hello. Is this the Sarge?"

    "Yes?"

    "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."

    "Have you arrested the woman?"

    "No sir. The floor is still wet."
     
    JulieW, Apr 17, 2015
    #1158
  19. ironwood

    ironwood Active Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2012
    Messages:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me ..

    As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..

    As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

    I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

    I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. "Let's go!" We went to lunch.

    We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

    I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

    After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom." "Sure!" I excitedly replied.

    She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

    And I just sat there...on the couch... naked.
     
    ironwood, Apr 17, 2015
    #1159
  20. phrenzy

    phrenzy In Memoriam - July 2017 Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2014
    Messages:
    2,493
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    R.I.P

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk[/youtube]
     
    phrenzy, Apr 17, 2015
    #1160
Page 58 of 557
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page