JOTD

WTB

 

*Clever Signages*!!
*A sign in a shoe repair store*: "We will heel you, We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"
At an *Eye Clinic* : "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.”;
On a *Plumber's truck* : "We repair what your husband fixed”;
On an *Electrician's truck* : "Let us remove your shorts”;
In a *Non-smoking Area* : "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action”;
At a *Car Dealership* : "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;
At the *Electric Company* : "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”;
In a *Restaurant window* : "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;
In the front yard of a *Funeral Home* : "Drive carefully. We'll wait.”;
Last but not least and I LOVE THIS..........
Sign on the back of *Septic Tank Truck* :
*"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"*

 

^^^ local shed company motto: 'satisfaction with every erection'

 

its getting out of hands

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=692829411079837

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=298804894048081

 

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00 His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.


The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house".

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says " Piss Off Asshole, you don't have the nerve to pull the trigger!"”