JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    copy cat

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  3. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    ■ A guy bought a new fridge for his house.
    To get rid of his old fridge { still working }, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
    For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
    He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
    So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
    The next day someone stole it !
    They walk among us !
    ■ One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, "Look at that dead bird !"
    Someone looked up at the sky and said "Where?"
    They walk among us !
    ■ While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was North because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
    She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?'
    My brother explained that the sun rises in the East and has for some time. She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.'
    They walk among us !
    ■ My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
    They walk among us !
    ■ My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
    They walk among us !
    ■ I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
    The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?' { I work with professionals like this }.
    They walk among us !
    ■ While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
    He thought about it for some time then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
    They walk among us !
    And last, but not the least. Dumb as a box of Rocks TRUE STORY...
    ■ A noted Psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi { Speaker of the United States House of Representatives } happened to appear.
    Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
    'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
    'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
    'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
    Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
    Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
    Sadly, they walk among us !
     
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  4. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Pelosi!
    No surprise there.
     
  5. systematic

    systematic Well-Known Member

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  6. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  7. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  8. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  9. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  10. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  11. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Honesty in politics;

     
  12. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  13. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Buyer: BUZZ if in mint condition,
    Seller: but you can still have my heart

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    /\

    And now worth more than pre-shredding.

    Now that is funny!
     
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  15. Oddjob

    Oddjob Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  16. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Put your wife in a room & lock it.
    Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
    Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !
    (Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!)
    Don't laugh loud ----
    The extended version says...
    Put your husband in a room & lock it.
    Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
    Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!
    "If you want to be
    Happy with your husband,
    Love him Less &
    Understand him more !
    If you want to be
    Happy with your wife,
    Love her More &
    NEVER try to Understand her !"
    No one teaches a Volcano how to Erupt....No one teaches a Tsunami how to Rise...No one teaches a Hurricane how to Sway...No one teaches a MAN how to choose a WIFE or a WOMAN how to choose a HUSBAND.
    Natural Disasters Just Happen...
     
  17. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  18. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  19. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  20. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Although created for near and dear female relatives, the unusual font and design provides for a multitude of uses for this Card.

    [​IMG]
     
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