JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    alor, Jun 15, 2017
    #2281
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  2. Killface

    Killface Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Aww even 'world's least humorous man' Laurie Oakes attempts a funny at the end of the linked report..
     
    Killface, Jun 15, 2017
    #2282
  3. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    alor, Jun 15, 2017
    #2283
  4. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    boneyard, Jun 16, 2017
    #2284
  5. Acorn

    Acorn Well-Known Member

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    Acorn, Jun 16, 2017
    #2285
  6. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Jun 18, 2017
    #2286
  7. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    alor, Jun 20, 2017
    #2287
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  8. Greg Williams

    Greg Williams Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
     
    Greg Williams, Jun 21, 2017
    #2288
    sammysilver and boneyard like this.
  9. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    "What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

    "He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

    "How interesting. What's his favourite trick?"

    "He saws people in half."

    "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

    "One half brother and two half sisters."
     
    Aurora et luna, Jun 22, 2017
    #2289
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  10. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    NEW ZEALAND FARMER ARRESTED FOR SELLING SHEEP AS SEX SLAVES TO ISIS
    Canada Legalizes Sex With Animals. What An Evil Wicked Generation Full Of The Devil And On The Road To Hell

    Farmer better sell their sheep to Canada who in turn ship them to Syria
     
    alor, Jun 23, 2017
    #2290
  11. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    alor, Jun 25, 2017
    #2291
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  12. StewyD32

    StewyD32 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?
    Are you at peace with God?"

    George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! the light goes off."

    "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.

    "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

    "Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's pissing in the fridge again!
     
    StewyD32, Jun 25, 2017
    #2292
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  13. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    if you want to shut Trump up, kill his tweeter bird, no not his bird :D
     
    alor, Jun 25, 2017
    #2293
  14. whinfell

    whinfell Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    whinfell, Jun 25, 2017
    #2294
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  15. StewyD32

    StewyD32 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A nun is having a shower when she hears the door bell ring.

    Rushing to the door she realises that she has forgotten the towel and water is dripping everywhere. Not wanting to hold the person up she shouts "who is it."

    The reply is "it's the blind man from the village."

    The nun quickly opens the door and lets him in.


    He responds "nice tits, where do you want the blinds."
     
    StewyD32, Jun 26, 2017
    #2295
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  16. StewyD32

    StewyD32 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A dog is truly a man's best friend.

    If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

    Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

    When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!
     
    StewyD32, Jun 27, 2017
    #2296
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  17. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Jun 27, 2017
    #2297
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  18. Greg Williams

    Greg Williams Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    I'll never forget my grandfathers last words.
    .
    .
    .
    "Stop shaking the ladder you little bastard!".
     
    Greg Williams, Jun 30, 2017
    #2298
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  19. StewyD32

    StewyD32 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    ^
    My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep.
    Wish I could say the same about the passengers in his car he was driving.
     
    StewyD32, Jun 30, 2017
    #2299
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  20. StewyD32

    StewyD32 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.

    The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

    The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in, to confirm the identity of the body.

    Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.
    The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

    The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

    "What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician..

    "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes. "
     
    StewyD32, Jun 30, 2017
    #2300
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