JOTD

How do they get away with that?

Do they change his trousers for the interview?

Do they pay compensation for the rest of his wretched life?

 

House that is the funniest thing l've seen in weeks... thanks for sharing that... Made my day!

 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbxicbahf4c[/youtube]

 

^^^ :lol:

 

any resemblance

[imgz=http://forums.silverstackers.com/uploads/5904_1234143_10151942681893646_161319395_n.jpg][/imgz]
[imgz=http://forums.silverstackers.com/uploads/5904_83.jpg][/imgz]

Gotta find a Kel Night and Tony Abbott pic now

 

A man walks into "Harrods of London" to buy his wife a present.
Suddenly in front of him he sees the entertainer Rolf Harris.

Not wanting to miss the opportunity, he goes up to Rolf.

"Your Rolf Harris the entertainer aren't you"?

Rolf exclaims "Well, yes I am".


The man in excitement says:

"I saw you back in the 70's doing Two Little Boys With Two Little Toys".

Rolf replies "P*SS OFF....THAT WAS GARY GLITTER".

 

Silver will go sideways for many years to come.

 

More Irish

Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?"
Paddy replies "No tanks, I've only got a small garden."

Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy, "We'll lie and say we only found two!"

A coach load of Paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going. The driver won 52!

Paddy's racing snail is not winning races anymore. So he decided to take its shell off to reduce its weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn't work; if anything it made him more sluggish.

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and says, "Bejesas, I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb.
The operator asks, "Is it tickin? Paddy says, "No I tink it's turkey."

Joe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife. The whole street was watching yesterday, and laughing at you."
Paddy says, "Well the joke's on them, stupid, because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Oh, no, Paddy, what ya doing?" Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

Paddy says to Mick, "I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?" Paddy replies, "I'll take her with me!"

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year." Mick says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "Yes, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

 

How was copper wire invented ?













































2 Jews fighting over a penny :lol:

 

How does a Russian joke start?


By looking over your shoulder.

 

How do you know a Jew at an American footy match?



He's the 1 yelling "Get the quarter back"

 

A scotsman told me that it was two scots fighting over a penny....

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! It's nae that dark

A Scottish lady visits the classified section of the newspaper and says
"I'd like to place an obituary for my late husband of 40 years"

The man says "It costs you for how many words you use, how much money do you have?"

"$20" says she.

"You wont get many words for that" says he.

So she thinks for a bit and writes on the form "Tim McDonald Died Yesterday"

The clerk at the counter feels guilty that the woman can only afford to say so little about her husband so he says.

"If you like I'll double the words you can place for the same amount missus"

"That's very kind of you" says she.

So she think awhile and writes on the form and hands it back to the clerk.

The clerk reads the amended entry.

"Tim McDonald Died Yesterday. Ford Cortina for sale"

 

I keep watching over and over... and keep laughing over and over. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

The joke is on Miley Cyrus.

"Captain Kirk watches Miley Cyrus performance"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Lb3kFwJRQ[/youtube]

 

Wedding Perceptions

Men and women have two distinct views about a wedding. The husband-to-be wakes up in the morning, plays a round of golf and counts the minutes until he has to be at the altar.

The wife-to-be, on the other hand, wakes up in the morning and is panicking. She immediately begins to organize things, making sure everything is in proper order. In her mind she is repeating what she has to do.

"All I have to do is go down the aisle, get to the altar, and listen to the wedding song." She repeats this over and over again, until she begins to shorten it to three words which she continues to repeat...

"Aisle, altar, hymn." "Aisle, altar, hymn." "Aisle, altar, hymn."

 

LOL
It's an old saying.
Women marry men thinking they'll change.
Men marry women thinking they'll never change.