You have 2 cows...

Discussion in 'Markets & Economies' started by hawkeye, Apr 2, 2013.

  1. hawkeye

    hawkeye New Member Silver Stacker

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    Got this off another forum

     
  2. Eureka Moments

    Eureka Moments Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    STACKERISM

    You have 2 cows.
    You sell both productive assets and buy PMs.
     
  3. errol43

    errol43 New Member Silver Stacker

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    Hello Honey! Hello Darling!

    If you be good milkers, I'll get you a bull one day!

    Regards Errol 43
     
  4. Contrarian

    Contrarian New Member

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    REALISM

    As you're loading them onto the truck one kicks your farmhand and he sues you for everything you've got.

    C
     
  5. worldbubble

    worldbubble Active Member

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    Realism part 2
    You sell two cows to evade taxes and put proceeds into bank in Cyprus
     
  6. AngloSaxon

    AngloSaxon Active Member

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    Cows held by Trusts instead of corporations

    You control two cows but own neither. Each cow is held in its' own discretionary trust with your Company as Trustee of both. You are controlling Director,. The land is owned by another trust with similar arrangements. Cow Trust A and Cow Trust B pay income on the milk to your wife (unemployed) and your 18 year old daughter (uni student). Tax is minimised and the business grows over time. The trust that owns your land ends up buying land for your brother in law to start running his own cows. You are planning a stable retirement for your grandkids. Your houso neighbours think you must be scammers to be so well off.
     
  7. Golden ChipMunk

    Golden ChipMunk Well-Known Member

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    :lol:

    I luv this two cows.

    Highlander.
    You have two cows. There can only be one.
     
  8. spannermonkey

    spannermonkey Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Farmhand goes into feedstock for the pigs ;)
    NOTHING ever happened :D
    Carry on :D
     
  9. iceblue

    iceblue Well-Known Member

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    You have 250 cows.
    Your a slave to all of the above.
     
  10. valuecreator

    valuecreator Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    GET RICHER-ISM

    You have 2 cows
    You sell them and buy 20 sheep because they're cheap right now.
    You sell the 20 sheep and buy 3 cows because cows are now cheap.
    You sell 3 cows and buy 30 sheep because they're cheap right now.
    and so on...
     
  11. Lunarowl

    Lunarowl Active Member Silver Stacker

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    STACKERISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You name them Aurum and Argentum.
     
  12. menotcrimex

    menotcrimex Member Silver Stacker

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    Silly ewes u got the aussie and nz bits around de wong way

    Here come de sheep jokes lol
     
  13. CriticalSilver

    CriticalSilver New Member Silver Stacker

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    Housing Cows


    You have two cows
    The government want to tax cow transactions and stimulates the market
    With much fan fare it offers first cow buyers a cash incentive to buy cows
    There is a high demand for cows.
    You sell your cows and bank the money
    Using your money as capital the bank makes cow loans
    The price of cows increases and interest in cows develops
    You want to buy some more cows, but prices have doubled
    The bank loans you the money to buy the cows, using your savings as capital and charges you interest on the loan.
    The Government taxes you for buying the cows.
    The return on investment from cows milk is low because of government taxes, interest payments, the increased cost of feed and price suppression of milk
    You sell your cows to an inexperienced buyer and realise a handsome capital gain
    You borrow more money and buy even more cows, not to milk but to resell into a rising market.
    The bank thinks cows are in a bubble so collateralises its cow loans and sells them to investors that want exposure to the cow market
    The demand for cow CDOs entices the banks to reduce lending standards opening the cow market to new investors
    The government declares cow sales are required in a healthy economy and announces its first budget surplus.
    Suddenly, the cow owners start defaulting on their cow payments as the local buyers reach debt saturation and the prices begin to fall
    The defaulting cow loans mean cow CDO returns are reducing and investors don't know how to value the CDOs in their portfolio and start to sell them
    The market for cow CDOs dries up
    The banks don't want the risk of non-performing cow loans so tighten lending standards
    With cow credit evaporating the market for cows threatens to collapse and the government announces its support of cow prices and trebles the first cow buyers grant with much publicity to encourage cow investment
    To calm the capital markets, the government announces it will buy cow CDOs
    The central bank begins to reduce interest rates
    Secretively, the government expands the market for cows by allowing foreign corporations and speculators to buy cows in your country
    You sell your cows to a Chinese buyer who used to be a captain in the PLA
    With the resurgent market, demand for CDOs return, banks lower lending standards, desperate investors trying to keep pace with inflation start to return to cows
    Meanwhile, a crisis is brewing in China ....
     
  14. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Bwahahahahaha...
     
  15. renovator

    renovator Well-Known Member

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    Realism #3 you have 2 cows one gets foot & mouth the other gets mad cow disease & both have to be put down .
     
  16. renovator

    renovator Well-Known Member

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    Opportunism You have 2 cows you swap them for 4 old horses you butcher them & sell them as beef to aldi or ikea as burger mince 1000% profit ....yeehaa
     
  17. worldbubble

    worldbubble Active Member

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    Altruistic idiocy driven liberalism

    You have two cows while others don't
    You think that it's not fair so you give both cows away
     
  18. col0016

    col0016 Active Member

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    You have two cows while others don't
    You think that it's not fair so you cut them up into 7 billion pieces and everybody gets a fair, unproductive, minuscule piece of cow.
     
  19. bordsilver

    bordsilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  20. Ouch

    Ouch Active Member

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    UNDER A LABOR GOVERNMENT

    You have two cows ....
    You start a class war between the two.
     

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