JOTD

Or Elton John's " Hold me closer Tony Danza"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yn-2YuWMUo[/youtube]

 

HUMAN RESOURCES FORM 110b

ACCIDENT REPORT

1. DESCRIBE BRIEFLY HOW THE ACCIDENT OCCURRED.

Like every morning I got up to the top of the building but this particular morning I found that big winds from the night had blown a plank about and it had knocked some of the newly laid bricks off the top.

So I rigged up a beam with a pulley, at the top of the building, and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks to do the repairs.

When I had relaid the bricks that had been knocked about, there was a lot of bricks left over.

I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom.

Then I went up and filled the barrel with extra bricks.

Then I went to the bottom and cast off the line.

Unfortunately the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening,
the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground.

I decided to hang on.

Halfway up I met the barrel coming down.

That is how I received the injury to my shoulder.

I then continued to the top of the building, banging my head against the beam,
and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley.

That is how I received those injuries.

Despite this turn of events I decided to keep a hold of the line.

But when the barrel hit the ground, it burst at its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out.

I was now heavier than the barrel.

And so I started down again toward the ground at high speed.

Halfway down I met the barrel coming up.

That is how I received the injuries to my shins.

When I hit the ground I landed on the bricks.

That is how I received the cuts and abrasions.

At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go of the line.

This allowed the barrel to come down again.

That is how I received the injuries to my other shoulder and the top of my head.

And that is my best recollection of the incident.

 

What do you call bread made out of vaginal yeast?



Damper.

 

etc etc


Bad rewrite of a 1960s/70s Clancy Brothers song "I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today"

 

Sad JOTD

 

Being a doggerel version of the original 1940's sketch = as is above.

 

Source: Bureaucrats Nightmare

I bet they even ride bicycles without helmets!

 

The US Govt needs a few of these - might be able to make a dent in their deficit

 

I seen quite a few things like that in asia its common to have 4 or more on a tiny 125cc bike over there .. Man thats a lot i like the look of the baby in the backpack it looks like its crapping itself (its a baby it probably is ) I even done it a few times with some workers it was all to cozy for me with other guys rubbing their manhood on me ...no wonder theres so many gays in asia :lol:

 

And plenty of bikes with a load ,heres one i got wen i actually had my camera ready .Thats the problem you see it & by the time u have the camera ..they are gone .In oz people would get the trailer or a ute to carry it ... The funny part of that pic is when we passed it there was a guy sitting sidesaddle on the gas tank holding a huge sack of rice .you can see his legs

 

& realised you dont do a proper job either hahaha . he missed a fair bit

 

I suspect a jealous neighbour