JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. Silverling

    Silverling Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  2. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  3. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A Day At The Races

    Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse, to watch horse racing.
    When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
    The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
    Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their ‘wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry.
    As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, ‘You must be in Grade 3?’
    ‘No ma'am’, he replied. ‘I'm the jockey riding Black Caviar in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.
     
    Markco2, STKR, Skyrocket and 8 others like this.
  4. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  5. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Well, true story, down here in Melbourne there's a daily lotto going on the figures.

    e.g 348 transmissions and 7 dead, translates as

    Today's lotto numbers are: 3, 4, 8 and supplementary number is 7.

    We laugh til we cry!
     
    madaw1, Markco2 and Bosse68 like this.
  6. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    we know why Trump said, we won't be seeing him for a while
    [​IMG]
     
  7. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  8. oziwassabi

    oziwassabi Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  9. STKR

    STKR Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  10. STKR

    STKR Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  11. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  12. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  13. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  14. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  15. Stoic Phoenix

    Stoic Phoenix Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  16. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Medical experts were asked if it is time to ease the lockdown.
    Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.
    Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
    Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
    Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.
    Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.
    Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.
    “Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
    Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
    In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes.
     
  17. Stoic Phoenix

    Stoic Phoenix Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    @Aurora et luna ...you missed the acupuncturists who said "lets put a pin in it"
     
  18. Markco2

    Markco2 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]




    The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that
    "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."


    However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

    1. Buying a stronger whip.

    2. Changing riders.

    3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

    4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

    5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

    6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

    7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

    8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

    9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.

    10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

    11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

    12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

    And, of course…

    13.Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

    There are many Dead Horses in Government.

    Cheers Markco2
     
  19. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    If political ads were honest.

     
  20. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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