JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

  1. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  2. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  3. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  4. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  5. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  6. Oddjob

    Oddjob Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  7. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  8. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  9. willrocks

    willrocks Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  10. spannermonkey

    spannermonkey Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    here there everywhere
    I wander if there is a Russian version
    " Hallo Sveta " and uncle Vlad is listening
     
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  11. Oddjob

    Oddjob Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  12. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  13. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Your DUCK IS DEAD

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1,500!" she cried,"$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1,500."
     
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  14. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  15. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Arizona bikers were riding South on the US-93 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Hoover Dam Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the StateTrooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering
    kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even
    the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing like a girl."

    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed??
     
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  16. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  17. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  18. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes.
    The Lady said - "Tell me!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ??"
    "My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."
    *Moral*.....
    Drinkers are practical people.
    Kindly Respect them!!
    #- Saint Vodka
     
  19. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  20. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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