JOTD

>>>>>> Sailing to Italy
>>>>>>
>>>>>> A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour.
>>>>>> Just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "You have so much to live for," said the man.
>>>>>> "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship.
>>>>>> I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "I see," the captain said.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "He certainly is," replied the captain.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "This is the Manly Ferry."

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=4823120174401801

 

Sorry, we will have to wait until the Grand POObah (Marshall Swing) makes his next bi-weekly prognostication from on high via Silver Doctors.com.
When you get that many clicks from an IDIOT who reckons he is the re-incarnation of MOSES. why would they worry about facts? WHAT A JOTD.
This is the Grand POObah

 

This the Herald Sun Joke of the Day from yesterday.


A MATE showed me a photo of his wife.

"Isn't she stunning?" he said.

"You should see my wife," I replied.

"What, is she stunning too?" he asked.

I said: "No, she's an optometrist."

 

G'Day yuri, from Country Vic. _JOHNLGALT.
Still kickin' ass this way mate.
They are a rough bunch of supporters you've got down there. lol.

 

*HUSBANDS FOR SALE !!!*

A store that sells husbands has just opened,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the floors.

There is, however, a catch ..

You may choose any man from a particular floor,
or you may choose to go up a floor,

but, you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 These men have jobs, love kids, are good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 These men have jobs, love kids, are gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

*Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.*

*Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your steps as you exit the building, and have a nice day!*

 

This is the second part to the above joke.


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives Store

just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

 

A dog died and the owner took it to a Pastor. He asked the Pastor if he could organise a funeral service for the dead animal.

Pastor : No, we can't hold a service for your dog in our church but there is a church down the street, maybe they will do it for you.
Man : But Pastor, will that church accept a donation of $1million ??

The Pastor shouted, "O Lord ! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Christian ?

 

no pin
no permission
"sold"and you got the money

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=907831059400197

 

why mot just bring a cat there to play with the terrorrat

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1071890589616970

 

you watch my back

 

The navy in Norway has a barcode on all their vessels, because when they come back to port they can scandinavian.

 

Rock climber above reminded me of this classic: