Death, your plans, your legacy.

Discussion in 'Wealth Creation & Management' started by JulieW, Apr 26, 2019.

  1. Silver260

    Silver260 Active Member Silver Stacker

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    Yea.... It has been very tough . Nothing we ever saw coming.

    We have cried...... and laughed ( at his past antics ) our way through the last 3 months.

    But, we're both very pragmatic people. If nothing is learnt from this tragedy, then surely what was the point of his life?

    Many lessons have been learnt, most of which are irrelevant here, but if I can help one parent..... Then job done :)
     
  2. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Thank you everyone for your replies to date. It is sometimes a painful subject, when death is indiscriminate, so thank you Silver260 for sharing.

    Apparently "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" is one of the most popular funeral songs, and treating the funeral as a celebration of the person's life is my preferred end point.

    I see something simple and relaxed. Has anyone perspectives on how detailed funeral instructions should be?
     
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  3. SlyGuy

    SlyGuy Active Member

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    I'm glad you liked the video, but for a medical doctor in this day in age to be talking about afterlife and cosmos and blah etc is just plain irresponsible.

    Energy is neither created nor destroyed, but that simply means your body's usable material turns to heat (cremation) or to worm/bacteria food and soil minerals and fertilizer (burial). Enjoy life while it lasts. There is no brain function without oxygen and nutrients, and permanent damage occurs quite rapidly. That "near death experience" stuff is simply malfunctional brain activity... not unlike "seeing stars" for a concussion or "a white light" when freezing to death. That it is not being cynical; it is simple organic chemistry. Any afterlife is pure fantasy for comforting people who are afraid of what they don't understand. There is good reason over 90% of top scientists and docs are non-religious. Enjoy life while it lasts. There is no shame in that.

    ...I'm all for being a minimalist at any stage of life; it is important when young to save costs, build wealth and have freedom... and it is also important later for other reasons. We have all been to estate sales or helped clean out a dead friend or relative's house... 90% is usually thrown out, 9% might be decent to list for sale (less than half of it sells for any value usually), 1% kept for sentiment.

    The goodbye letters are a nice touch with regard to that sentiment... a bit morbid, but can be comforting to kids who can't understand it well, especially when a parent dies young (cancer, military service, etc). Again, I think a couple good times together during life would probably be better than a letter for most of the adults in your life, but if you can't visit with some important people and can crank the letters out quick and without heartache (on either end... you know the ppl), then go for it.

    Funeral prep/instruction (assuming you are paying for it) can be very basic: "minimalist, celebration of life with this pic slideshow, read this poem, play this song, have coffee and my favorite cookies/crackers." Done. Making a posterboard collage or two of favorite photos and making the pic slideshow is nice, and it might save family from doing it under duress. Make the "so, I've put together what I want for my funeral" talk very brief and with one relative; it is a very uncomfortable talk that should not be mentioned again and again (some women in my family have an annoying habit of doing this). Funerals are basically all the same, but they are traditional for closure to the close surviving relatives. Keep any ceremony minimalist and quick and leave the family more money (paying more for single weekend afternoon ceremony instead of days of wake/visitation/funeral can save a lot); again, heirs would rather have that than need to take off work for days to go the funeral parlor and have to carry tons of flowers or framed photos home. Cremation is also much cheaper and less wasteful than burial. Mainly focus on quality time, your own happiness, and jettison your junk, though. There is no second chance.

    For the PM stuff, it is very good you're thinking of this. I think you'd be very wise to sell as much of the high premium / numi stuff yourself as you can asap (during next PM price uptick if you can wait... but who knows when that will come around). Generic bullion could be gifted to heirs with basic instructions on how to sell for spot, where to sell, how/if they pay taxes (read between the lines), etc. It is tough because you don't want to tell family you have it so that they start planning how to spend it now, but their naïve nature will make them holding your PM a target for lowballer buyers once you're gone (esp any numi stuff). Therefore, it is best to just sell most of it yourself: all of the numi, most/all of the generic, and at least some of the bullion. That way, you get them more of what they want (money) and cost them less of what they don't want to spend (time).

    Chances are, any heirs will just sell it all for spot asap. I know I would do that with inherited coins and bars, and I've recommended that action plan to friends before... even though I have knowledge of PM. Nobody (including me) wants to go look up each coin and try to find a buyer for just a tiny bit more returns. Did you do that with your grandpa's sports cards or your mom's beanie babies or your great uncle's stamp collection? Nope, if you are like most people, you probably sold them as a lot to the first reasonable offer from a local shop or eBay buyer. Similarly, your PM stack was part of your life, not part of theirs. They just want to be done with it, get the cash, and be on with their life. They want a car or a semester of college or a house downpayment… not some numismatic nonsense they don't understand. Bullion is nice in that regard of value + efficiency since it is a commodity with standardized value. The only thing I'd consider is explaining to one or two trustworthy relatives how "taxes" work on selling bullion (maybe when you leave basic funeral guidance), but definitely minimize the amount of bullion you have when they ask... it's "nothing substantial, just a little bit that I keep around." Good luck
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2019
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  4. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    He is a neurologist and a psychiatrist, rooted in science and he's not so much talking of afterlife, but the process of dying.

    I was especially taken by the part of the interview regarding consciousness; as to whether consciousness is external to the brain or internal. His research and the widespread repetition of certain features of the near death experience leads him to support the theory that consciousness is external and the brain, as I understand it.

    That aside, thanks for your post. A good point on dealing with numismatic coins before heirs put them into the proverbial melting pot.
     
  5. milled

    milled Active Member

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    A frank discussion with beneficiaries may be helpful, depending on the configuration of your family. That may include handing over a copy of the Will to each of them and clarify any issues with them. That way, there's no place for ambiguity at a time which should be a space for grieving. If there is a person or people that need to have security from your assets then ensure that is spelled out and all aware in advance. Make the whole thing as simple and easy for the bereaved as reasonable to do so.

    Already said, but worth saying again, is that what you hold (sentimentally) valuable may not be what your beneficiaries do. That stuff in storage is worth thinking about.
     
  6. sammysilver

    sammysilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    I told my ex wife that I want to be cremated.
    She made an appointment for next Thursday.
     
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  7. Arch Stanton

    Arch Stanton Well-Known Member

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    I plan on living forever...……...So far, so good.
     
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  8. JNS

    JNS Active Member Silver Stacker

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    Everything i write in a hard covered book, which i used to bring at all times. Notes and some important items. For password, they always know my password lingo combinations.

    Presently, start decluttering my collection and putting them in one place. Among the 3 kids, one of them become interested in numismatic and bullion.
    She is the one helping me to arrange and doing inventories of my PM's.

    At least somebody knew my stuff. :)
     
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  9. TreasureHunter

    TreasureHunter Well-Known Member

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    Are you serious?
     
  10. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    As a heart attack!
    :D

    Might as well ease the passage.
     
  11. systematic

    systematic Well-Known Member

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    Write your will in your handwriting and video tape your wishes ... helps protect your estate against fraud ...
     
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  12. Ad1

    Ad1 Active Member

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    A Queensland supreme court recently ruled a will by video using mobile phone as valid (https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-12-19/mans-videotaped-will-deemed-valid-supreme-court/10634994)

    But ideally it should be drafted after seeking proper legal council. Improperly drafted Will and the Will makers mental state at the time of writing are the most commonly sighted points in Will disputes
     

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