JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    cow on the ground = shit beef

    cow under mind = horse meet :rolleyes:
     
    alor, Jun 13, 2013
    #81
  2. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    What ticks on a board?

    Ticky tape.
     
    JulieW, Jun 13, 2013
    #82
  3. Tacrezod

    Tacrezod Member

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    Q. What's white and wears chequered pants?

    A. Rupert the fridge.
     
    Tacrezod, Jun 13, 2013
    #83
  4. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNpmub2JvFM[/youtube]
     
    JulieW, Jun 14, 2013
    #84
  5. Southerner

    Southerner Active Member Silver Stacker

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    Q : Why do they give old men in nursing homes Viagra?

    A : So they don't roll out of bed at night.
     
    Southerner, Jun 14, 2013
    #85
  6. renovator

    renovator Well-Known Member

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    I thought it was so they could have a handle to lift them out of bed easier :p:
     
    renovator, Jun 14, 2013
    #86
  7. boston

    boston Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

    Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

    The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..'

    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
     
    boston, Jun 15, 2013
    #87
  8. goldilox

    goldilox Member Silver Stacker

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    true story. had a visit from jehovas witnesses today. so i was reading their little zine & there was an 'article' about how to save one's marriage. it quoted the proverb "where there is no wood the fire goes out" :lol:
     
    goldilox, Jun 17, 2013
    #88
  9. SilverSurfer77

    SilverSurfer77 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Source: [​IMG]
     
    SilverSurfer77, Jun 19, 2013
    #89
  10. Lunardragon

    Lunardragon Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    Lunardragon, Jun 19, 2013
    #90
  11. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A Russian commercial shows why the Russians are .. well... Russian.

    It's the sort of honest advertising you don't get in the West. Bear with it guys. lol

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRgdFMc9UDE[/youtube]
     
    JulieW, Jun 20, 2013
    #91
  12. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Shaddam IV, Jun 21, 2013
    #92
  13. volrathy

    volrathy Active Member

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    Dont know if thats funny or cruel i was under the belief you cant feed dogs citrus because it causes them to vommit
     
    volrathy, Jun 21, 2013
    #93
  14. LTEK4NZ

    LTEK4NZ Member Silver Stacker

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    I would call that cruelty.
     
    LTEK4NZ, Jun 21, 2013
    #94
  15. projack

    projack Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    The NSA is the only institution that actually listens to the American people
     
    projack, Jun 25, 2013
    #95
  16. Marsi

    Marsi Member Silver Stacker

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    A Policeman spots a black man dancing on the roof of his car and radios for back-up

    Officer "I've got a darkie dancing on a Volkswagen"

    Control "You can't say that over the radio" please use political correct terminology

    Officer "ok - ZULU.TANGOGOLF
     
    Marsi, Jun 26, 2013
    #96
  17. thatguy

    thatguy Active Member

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    Labor
     
    thatguy, Jun 26, 2013
    #97
  18. DanielM

    DanielM Active Member Silver Stacker

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    Silver going to the moon
     
    DanielM, Jun 26, 2013
    #98
  19. markcoinoz

    markcoinoz Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    **Chuck the rooster**


    A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie.

    The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on you shoulder?"

    The old farmer said that's my pet rooster Chuck. "Wherever go, chuck goes."

    "I'm sorry sir," said the ticker agent. "We can't allow animals in the theater."

    The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his overalls. Then he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater.

    He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

    The movie started and the rooster began to squirm The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie.

    "Marge" whispered Mildred.

    "What?" said Marge.

    "I think the guy next to me is a pervert."

    "What makes you think so?" Asked Marge.

    "He undid his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred.

    "Well, don't worry about it", said Marge. "At our age we've seen 'em all."

    "I thought so too", said Mildred, "But this one's eatin' my popcorn!"
     
    markcoinoz, Jun 27, 2013
    #99
  20. boston

    boston Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Dominating women

    Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

    God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

    With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 kilometers long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

    God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only,one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
     
    boston, Jun 28, 2013
    #100
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