JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    *Big decisions, small decisions.*

    I observed that my very close friend has fantastic chemistry with his wife and they seem to be having a very happy married life. Just for curiosity sake I asked my friend: "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?"

    He said: "You should share responsibilities and respect each other. Then there will be absolutely no problems."

    I asked: "Can you please elaborate?"

    He said: "In my house, I make decisions on the bigger issues whereas my Wife decides on the smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

    Still not convinced, I asked him: "Give me some examples."

    He said: "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when and where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it."

    I asked: "Then, what big things remained for you to decide?"

    He said: "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether Dhoni should retire from Cricket etc etc. and do you know, my wife NEVER objects to any of these decisions
     
    Aurora et luna, Nov 21, 2017
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  2. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Nov 21, 2017
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  3. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Nov 23, 2017
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  4. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    ~~~ A CROCODILE TALE !!! ~~~

    During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand...the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond...and swim to the shore.

    Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with $5 million...but if killed by the crocs...$2 million will be given to the next of kin.

    For a long period of time...no one dared take up the challenge...then suddenly a man jumped in...and swam frantically for his life towards the shore pursued by the crocs...and luckily he made it unscathed.

    When he managed to recover his breath...the instant millionaire shouted asking who pushed him into the pond...and his wife responded that it was she who did !!!

    And from that day...that was how the phrase..."Behind every successful man...there's a woman"...came about !!!
     
    Aurora et luna, Nov 23, 2017
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  5. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    boneyard, Nov 24, 2017
    #2505
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  6. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    its a hit and run

    [​IMG]
     
    alor, Nov 25, 2017
    #2506
  7. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Nov 26, 2017
    #2507
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  8. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    *Joke of the day*

    What is the Difference between your Wife and Girlfriend ?

    Your wife is like a TV and your Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
    At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE.
    Sometimes you enjoy your TV.
    But most of the time, you play with your MOBILE.
    Your TV is (as good as) free for life. But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
    TV is big, bulky and most of the time old.
    But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and portable.
    Operational costs for your TV is often acceptable.
    But, for your MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.
    Your TV has a remote.
    But, your MOBILE doesn't.
    Most importantly, your MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen).
    But, with your TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!!!!
    Last but not least....!
    TVs are superior because, TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do....
    For security reasons, I had to finally choose my TV.
     
    Aurora et luna, Nov 26, 2017
    #2508
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  9. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
    #2509
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  10. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
    #2510
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  11. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Q: How do mathematicians scold their children?

    A: “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times ...”
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
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  12. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

    He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
    #2512
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  13. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Q: What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

    A: BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA!
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
    #2513
  14. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

    A time traveler walks into a bar.
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
    #2514
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  15. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.

    “What’s the first hut for?” he asks.

    “That’s my house,” says the castaway.

    “What’s the second hut for?”

    “That’s my church.”

    “And the third hut?”

    “Oh, that?” sniffs the castaway. “That’s the church I used to go to.”
     
    JulieW, Nov 26, 2017
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  16. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Nov 27, 2017
    #2516
  17. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Spain running out of jamon after Chinese develop taste for it, prices soar
    https://www.rt.com/news/411046-jamon-shortage-spain-chinese/

    Jamón ibérico – the culinary pride of Spain – has finally found its “right place in the market, alongside high-end caviar and truffles,” René Lemée, the head of exports for the Cinco Jotas brand, told El Pais on Saturday. He said that the economic crisis in Spain has pushed the country’s exports, allowing many people, the Chinese among them, to “fall in love with jamón ibérico.”
     
    alor, Nov 27, 2017
    #2517
  18. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    alor, Nov 27, 2017
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  19. bordsilver

    bordsilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    How does a Mathematician cure constipation?
    They work it out with a pencil.
     
    bordsilver, Nov 27, 2017
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  20. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Took me a minute or two to figure this one...................

    [​IMG]
     
    boneyard, Nov 28, 2017
    #2520
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