JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

  1. Tacrezod

    Tacrezod Member

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    What? Shouting at dinosaurs?
     
  2. wrcmad

    wrcmad Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    When home renos don't go quite right....

    [​IMG]
     
  3. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]

    Source: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All - provided they don't come in my yard without asking.
     
  4. Holdfast

    Holdfast Well-Known Member

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    Himalayan Rock Salt - Label says:

    Mined from 250-million-year old crystals.

    Use by date: "27/10/17"
     
  5. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

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    This is the exact same stuff clinton supporters/voters believe in (lets live on mars) :lol: and lets not forget to mention the snowflake generation with some even lurking here being :D
     
  6. KiwiGreg

    KiwiGreg Member

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  7. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Donald Trump and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
    As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
    As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
    Trump was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse,'
    The second barber turned to Obama and said, 'How about you?'
    Obama replied, 'Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'
     
  8. Greg Williams

    Greg Williams Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI-tMKwkSUo[/youtube]
     
  9. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  10. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.

    Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way.

    So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
     
  11. ozcopper

    ozcopper Administrator Staff Member

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    Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!


    A little bit of Aussie culcha

    LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter
    LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
    MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
    DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.
    HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
    KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.
    WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.
    SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..
    BYTE: What mozzies do
    MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
    CHIP: A pub snack.
    MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
    MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
    LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
    SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.
    HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.

    MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
    MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
    WEB: What spiders make.
    WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
    SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.
    CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.
    YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

    UPGRADE: A steep hill.
    SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
    MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
    USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

    NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

    INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
    NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

    ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

    OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
     
  12. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  13. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece .

    In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.

    To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

    At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed:

    "OH!! Limp pricks!"

    Over the next two and a half millenniums that morphed into " Olympics".

    Just thought I'd share this new found knowledge with you. :lol:
     
  14. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    0Philosophers of the Past Century

    ~ Betsy Salkind...

    Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.



    ~ Jean Kerr...

    The only reason they say "Women and children first" is to test the strength of the lifeboats.



    ~ Prince Philip...

    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.



    ~ Emo Philips...

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.



    ~ Harrison Ford...

    Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.



    ~ Spike Milligan...

    The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.



    ~ Jean Rostand...

    Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.



    ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger...

    Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars, but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.



    ~ WH Auden...

    We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.



    ~ Jonathan Katz...

    In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.



    ~ Johnny Carson...

    If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.



    ~ Warren Tantum... (School photo album).

    I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.



    ~ Steve Martin...

    Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.



    ~ Jimmy Durante...

    Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.



    ~ Doug Hanwell...

    America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.



    ~ George Roberts...

    The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.



    ~ Jonathan Winters...

    If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.



    ~ Robert Benchley...

    I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.



    ~ John Glenn...

    As I hurtled through space one thought kept crossing my mind: every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.



    ~ David Letterman...

    America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.



    ~ Howard Hughes...

    I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I'm a billionaire.



    ~ Old Italian proverb...

    After the game the King and the pawn go into the same box.
     
  15. Jislizard

    Jislizard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    [​IMG]

    Obviously straight after this they went back to their plot to overthrow our western way of life but nice to see they have a sense of humour.
     
  16. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
    The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
    "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.
    "I am," replied the woman, "how did you know?"
    "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
    The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
    "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
    "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
     
  17. bloomst

    bloomst Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  18. SteveS

    SteveS New Member

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    Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not Happy.
     
  19. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

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    A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says - why the long face :lol:
     
  20. SteveS

    SteveS New Member

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