JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    6,093
    Likes Received:
    426
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    55G 528505 5257160 TASSIE
  2. raven

    raven Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2014
    Messages:
    1,558
    Likes Received:
    512
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Victoria
  3. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,064
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
  4. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    12,102
    Likes Received:
    3,877
    Trophy Points:
    113
  5. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2016
    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Boganstan
    Why do Italian men have moustaches ???

    Because they want to look like their mothers :lol:
     
  6. sammysilver

    sammysilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    7,928
    Likes Received:
    6,517
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney
    Why do gays have moustaches?

    To hide the stretch marks!
     
  7. shinymetal

    shinymetal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,815
    Likes Received:
    685
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    victoria
  8. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2016
    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Boganstan
    How many "Irishman" does it take to change a light bulb ???

    The answer is 100 - 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to turn the house :lol:
     
  9. Stoic Phoenix

    Stoic Phoenix Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    4,226
    Likes Received:
    1,994
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Why are Irish jokes so simple?
    So Australian's can understand them
     
    StewyD32 likes this.
  10. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    8,298
    Likes Received:
    7,657
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    House Corrino
    These jokes are an offence under Section 18c and the Ministry of Truth has your IP address.
     
  11. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2016
    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Boganstan
    Someone once told me that "Australians" are the most evenly balanced peoples on the planet because -

    they have a Chip on both shoulders - ouch :lol:

    Yes I'd be one :D Australian that is.
     
  12. whinfell

    whinfell Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    3,327
    Likes Received:
    174
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Australia
  13. betterlatethannever

    betterlatethannever New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2016
    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Boganstan
    How many physiologists does it take to change a light bulb -

    depends because the light bulb has got to want to change :lol:
     
  14. boneyard

    boneyard Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    6,093
    Likes Received:
    426
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    55G 528505 5257160 TASSIE
  15. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,064
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia

    How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two.

    One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis, I mean the ladder.
     
  16. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,064
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
  17. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,064
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gJn5H2QyKQ[/youtube]


    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  18. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Messages:
    7,091
    Likes Received:
    4,579
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    R.I.P
    A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh My God - Hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to her lover. "And jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

    "I can't jump out the window!" came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. "It's raining out there!"
    "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!"

    So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon.

    He continued running along beside the others. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could, which wasn't very good at all.

    After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
    "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
    "Oh yes" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you're running."

    Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?"
    "Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

    Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
    "Only when it's raining."
     
  19. Stoic Phoenix

    Stoic Phoenix Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    4,226
    Likes Received:
    1,994
    Trophy Points:
    113
    A husband and wife along with their faithful dog every weekend for the 6 years of their marriage were up at 5am to go hunting.
    One Saturday when he nudged his wife to get up to go hunting.
    She yells "Get stuffed I'm not going hunting this weekend"
    He replies "Well if thats the case you have to give me a bj or take one in butt on my return" assuming she would sooner get up and come with him and the dog.
    She replies "Fine, whatever, I will give you a bj, I don't care, I'm not going."
    On his return he finds her in the kitchen and reminds her of the agreement.
    She begrudgingly gets to it but immediately spits it out and exclaims "Ewww, it tastes like crap"
    He shrugs and says "Yeah, well the dog didn't want to go either."
     
  20. JulieW

    JulieW Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2010
    Messages:
    13,064
    Likes Received:
    3,292
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Australia
    A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop.

    Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.

    Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk,

    "Dooo youuuu have dilllldooos?"

    The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, "Yes we do have dildo's.

    Actually we carry many different models."

    The old woman then asks: "Doooo youuuu carrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong
    aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?"

    The clerk responds, "Yes we do."

    "Dddooo yyoouu kknnnooww hhhoww ttooo ttturrrnn iittt offff?"
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page