I once read a surrealist novel called Satan Burger (I remember it first titled as Anus Burger, but apparently it was always called Satan Burger so I must have slipped realities again). But anyway, a guy was arrested for giving his copy of AnusSatan Burger to someone and was the lucky recipient of 15 search warrants for his heinous crime: I quite enjoyed it. Here's the synopsis (but don't look too closely at the cover if you click on the goodreads link): Here is the author pondering stuff: ... Well, enjoy that gold burger in the first post.
If you and House were to ever merge, I imagine the result would be quite similar to Carlton Mellick III.