JOTD

I sure miss those cheap all-you-can-eat places!

 

2023 Bledisloe Cup game night schedule.


The schedule has been released for this year’s Bledisloe Cup fixtures.


At 6pm players will enter the field and line up either side of halfway. There will be a Welcome to Country and then they will take a knee for 1 minute.


A “smoking ceremony” will then take place. All past and present elders will be honoured.


After that there will be a minute’s silence for everybody who has died.


Indigenous people will then be recognised as the traditional owners of this country. White people will be acknowledged as invading colonialists.


A formal apology on behalf of all heterosexual white males will be made by Kevin Rudd to all females in history who have been harassed or not being given equal pay.


Both teams will then sing the National Anthems in Maori, Aboriginal and English. Only the “white players” are expected to sing the anthems in English (for the Wallabies that will only be about 2 or 3).


They will then go to the middle of the ground where the All Blacks will perform the haka. After that players will go into their religious groups to sing and pay homage to their friends in the sky.


Atheists will go into their own group to talk about what they have done to combat climate change.


Both teams will then come together in the middle of the field and hold hands while putting rainbow tape on each other’s arms.


The Wallabies will be wearing their new strip designed by Lisa Wilkinson. It will have aboriginal artwork along with black , blue , white , red , pink and brown ribbons printed on the front of the jumper. The jumper will have a large Z on the front for the team’s new sponsor, clean energy billionaire Zali Steggall.


The Wallabies will be captained by Bill Smith as Joe Bloggs is still serving a 10 game suspension after it was discovered his great uncle made a feminist remark to a barmaid in 1965.


The game will also have 2 minute time-outs after a try is scored so mental coaches can enter the field and talk to the players who have just been scored against, to discuss their emotions.


Purple cards will also be used in the match for players to be sent from the field for 15 minutes if they say anything mean. The game should finish around 2am the next day.

 

The Same As It Ever Fucking Was!

 

I need one of these keep me company on my overnight drinking sessions.