JOTD

Discussion in 'General Precious Metals Discussion' started by DanielM, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. Silver260

    Silver260 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  2. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    To cure the British with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches :D

    Margaret Thatcher (1925 - 2013)
     
  3. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  4. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    FOR [​IMG] SHAKE
     
  5. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  6. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    Men want the same thing from their underpants as they want from woman,a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom :D

    Jerry Seinfeld.
     
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  7. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  8. Silver260

    Silver260 Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  9. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    Politics is just show business for ugly people :D

    Jay Leno
     
  10. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  11. Shaddam IV

    Shaddam IV Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  12. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  13. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  14. alor

    alor Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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  15. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    Cutting off your pecker doesn't make you a woman,it just makes you a guy who cut off his damn pecker :D

    The Duke - John Wayne.
     
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  16. yuripuka

    yuripuka Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    Australia Computer Terminology –



    Getting ready for NBN Broadband in the bush!!



    [​IMG]


    LOGON:….Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter

    LOG OFF:….Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.

    MONITOR:….Keeping an eye on the Barbie.

    DOWNLOAD:….Getting the firewood off the Ute.

    HARD DRIVE:….Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

    KEYBOARD:….Where you hang the Ute keys.

    WINDOWS:….What you shut when the weather's cold.

    SCREEN:….What you shut in the mozzie season..

    BYTE:….What mozzies do

    MEGABYTE:….What Townsville mozzies do.

    CHIP:….A pub snack.

    MICROCHIP:….What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

    MODEM:….What you did to the lawns.

    LAPTOP:….Where the cat sleeps.

    SOFTWARE:….Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

    HARDWARE:….Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.

    MOUSE:….The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

    MAINFRAME:….What holds the shed up.

    WEB:….What spiders make.

    WEBSITE:….Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

    SEARCH ENGINE:….What you do when the Ute won't go.

    CURSOR:….What you say when the Ute won't go.

    YAHOO:….What you say when the Ute does go.

    UPGRADE:…. A steep hill.

    SERVER:….The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

    MAIL SERVER:….The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

    USER:….The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

    NETWORK:….What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

    INTERNET:….Where you want the fish to go.

    NETSCAPE:….What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

    ONLINE:….Where you hang the washing.

    OFFLINE:….Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
     
  17. Aurora et luna

    Aurora et luna Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    A doctor was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang.
    The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
    "We have already opened an aged scotch whisky"
    "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor
    As he was moving out, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
    "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
    "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
     
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  18. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    Always get married in the morning.That way if it doesn't work out you haven't wasted the whole day :D

    Mickey Rooney (1920 - 2014)
     
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  19. mrsilverservice

    mrsilverservice Well-Known Member

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    I've always said if you need Viagra you are probably with the wrong girl :D

    POTUS - Donald Trump
     
  20. sammysilver

    sammysilver Well-Known Member Silver Stacker

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    I take two Viagra a day.
    In the morning, to stop me pissing on my shoes, and
    At night, to stop me rolling out of bed.
     
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